Friday, December 22, 2006

I Dream Of Eclectic Sheep, free mp3s again

Free music is good, especially when it’s good. So, again in keeping with the spirit of giving and the holiday season, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa etc., here’s another downloadable gift for free (and it's 100% legit) mp3s for yo’all. It’s the new album from a great Finnish band, Treeball.

Sure, we know some the guys in the band but besides them being really good, what we also have in common is the philosophy of giving our music away for free. You shouldn't have to pay for it, unless you like it and want to pay for it. Which reminds me, if you want to donate some money for us, please feel free to do so by sending any amount/currency you want to us via on our official email: Thanks!

But get their album, if you are into Indie Pop, that is. But who is not into Indie Pop every once in a while? Listen to it with your eggnog, mistletoes, menorah, Xmas-tree and whatever assorted accessories you might need during the Christmas.

Treeball: I Dream of Eclectic Sheep

Treeball release their second album of 2006, I Dream Of Eclectic Sheep. 10 new songs featuring material written by Nick Triani, Astrid Swan, Janne Lehtinen & Michael McDonald. All ten tracks are available as a free download below with a copy of the cover for you to print.

Razz Dat!

Now, if you want to loose completely mindlessly some of your employers’ time while waiting for the holidays to begin, go play with this thing.

It’s Razz Mixer, kind of a online recording device where you can record your own stupid... hmmm, well basically anything. Do a rap or tell a joke, make a political speech or just upload your favorite track and fart into the mic and play with the stupid sound effects provided in the mixer. In fact, I cannot think of anything stupider than that. But what’s even better, in theory you can win 250 USD while doing it.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Don't say it, put it on a T-Shirt

Last nite I watched BET Hip Hop awards, which is like the Oscars for hip hop: a lot of great artists, no real surprises and a lot of bullshit said on stage.

But they were all there, and all the biggest anthems got played. The hottest moments were in my opinion (not particulary in this order):

1) Luda's performance as a response to Nas. Quite satirical, humorous. Read the T-Shirt. It's a powerful media.

2) Game's performance of "One Blood" that ended in a boring speech about beefs. That he respects Jigga and Fitty. Yadada. Even Jay-Z himself fell asleep during these words.

3) Busta's speech after receiving the "best live perfomer" award or something like that. He pretty straightforwardly dissed a lot of these new cats who just stand on the stage holding their groins.

4) Almost all artists had hoodies with shiny blingy things on them. What's up wit that? Rappers shop nowadays at H&M's?

5) Lil Wayne was really hyped and jumped around a lot, even after his set

6) Dipset soooo ain't about singing. Jim Jones couln't find a note if he ran over it on a H3

7) Chamillionaire seemed like really a humble guy, a bit lost on the stage.

And the track of the year was.... "it's going down" by Young joc.

Damn, girl! Watch out for those Flames....

Yo’all know about this already fo ‘sho but I just want to express my deep feelings for Lost’s lovely Kate AKA Evangeline Lily, who house just burned down in Hawaii. Damn!

And this piece of news fits just perfectly in with the vibe of destruction and general f**ked-up:ness that has been going on with Kriton Records’ official website recently.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Kriton crash!

Old news for those who have tried to check our site ( and bad news for those who are looking into visiting: is down again. We hope to get it fixed it in a couple of days.

Still reminding you to go there asap when it's back on: the Collie Buddz remix "Come Around" (a.k.a. When The Kriton Come Around...) is up for downloading!! watch this space, we'll tell you when to go!

#UPDATE # 21.12.2006

Yes, is working again.
Now go there and download that crazy sucker called "When Kriton Come Around".
It is sooooo worth it.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Stig will hold 'em

We the Kriton Bwoyz have been diggin' Stig Dogg since the day one and two. Stig is the man. And now he's got a brand new vid out, with a trendy poker theme. Check this new piece of artwork out, there are some porn star cameos and such, so pay attention...

We always appreciate the silly overuse on bubbly. Those who can, do it.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Very Special Blends AKA free mp3s! Go get 'em!

When we started this blog some months back we promised that Kriton Music is above all 'an independent 100% free record label', remember?

Well, in order to keep that promise, every once in a while we need to deliver, which we have done along the way fo' sho, but right now and in keeping with the spirit of the holiday season and all that, I want to remind all of you that we have a very special extra secret Kriton-webpage decicated to
Some Very Special Blends.

So click that fat motha and go NOW there and fill up all yo' hard drives, iPods and whatnot & enjoy!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Doctor's Order: Cannabis is Go! in Finland.

Right on! This is good news from today’s newspaper. Or is it really?

The right to use medicinal cannabis in pain relief has been granted for the first time in Finland. A man who hurt his back and neck seriously in an car accident and who has been forced to take different opiate-based pain killers take continuously for four years was given prescription for one year to use medicinal cannabis. Obviously the side-effects of taking medicinal grade morphine or heroin or other hardcore-opiate derivatives for four years were judged to be bit heavy for anyone.

The man had to appeal for court and the decision in his favor took 1.5 years to go through. It is also strictly for one year with no promise of continuation after that.

So basically he can have his weed in order to help him kick the morphine-habit and then after a year he is forced to go directly back to using it again. Is cannabis really so dangerous that it is officially better to use morphine instead, or what?

And since this is the first case in Finland, where is he going to score his weed and/or hash? I am sure local pharmacies do not carry cannabis products since importing any kind of cannabis product into Finland is a serious crime carrying penalties of up to several years in prison. This applies to pharmacists too. Maybe he has to grow his own, which of course is strictly illegal too. In fact it is currently illegal to even have seeds, ceramic pots or any other similar things that could be considered as equipment and accessories to be intended to be used in producing cannabis in any form.

Or maybe now it’s time for someone to form the first Finnish cannabis buyers’ club?

But seriously, this case just shows once again how conservative, backwards and hypocrite Finland really is.


Ok, turns out that the local pharmacist, who also happened to be the person who helped and supported the dude in pain with the court case against The Man, got a special license to order a one-year-supply of official dutch medicinal weed from aDutch state controlled ganja-provider...

Monday, December 11, 2006

Kobe beef and Pata Negra, por favor

When it comes to food, I sometimes like being elitistic. I may not be the ultimate connoisseur of the culinaristic brotherhood extraordinaire, but I’m known to enjoy the good things in life once in a while. What I’m reporting here is not suitable for hard core vegans, so they might consider clicking this instead. However this story is a story of one of the most happiest animals in the machinery of western and oriental food industry.

Last friday I had the priviledge to enjoy both Pata Negra and Kobe beef on the same plate. Pata Negra may not be such a rare treat, it’s just probably the best kind of Spanish ham (jamón serrano) that comes from Iberia. The point of this delicacy is that this type of ham comes from black Iberian pigs, who roam freely in the groves of cork oak and their diet consists mainly of sweet and dandy acorns.

Kobe beef is a bit of the same thing, but still a lot more. First of all, the Kobe beef is flown especially from Japan . That’s elitistic to begin with, right? The Kobe beef comes from a breed of cattle called Wagyu, and the guys over there have been selectively breeding for this marbling grade for centuries. What makes Kobe such a tasty form of meat comes from a few facts:

• The cattle receives several massages during the day
• During the massage they are rinsed with beer and/or sake
• They are massaged by hand
• They are also fed with beer/sake
• After a hard day someone actually sings lullabies to the cattle, so that they fall asleep relaxed.

The point of this kind of nurture is that these animals are supposedly happy until the bitter end and and therefore have no stress.

Was it worth it? Very often really rare dishes taste not too good or not at least as well as they should after you have paid a small fortune on them. But both Pata Negra and Kobe beef were pretty goddamn delicious and they were as smooth as you could expect.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

I became a Fonero today. A what?

* Hi jzZi !
* You are the # 184XXX member of the FON Community, and you're alien.

It's on now. I read about it in a newspaper today and I am already one of them. 'A Fonero'. Here's the deal: There is a Spanish company: and they have a special deal for you if you live in Finland. When you register at the site they will send you a free WI-FI router, 'La Fonera', completely free of charge, apparently. But by signing up, you promise to hook it up with your Internet-connection and share it with all the other 'Foneros'. This will also mean that once you join the community and share yours, you get also the right to use other Foneros' WI-FI connections for free all over the world.

This sounds so cool, at least in theory. I share my WI-FI connection for anyone at range from my home anyway, no passwords, no nothing. Since I pay my montly fee and about 95% of all time I am not using it, and even if I am, then what? If you cannot afford your own internet connection (about 20 euros a month at the cheapest) then go ahead and use mine. I am cool with it.

I have had this idea for a long time, if everyone would share their WI-FI internet connections with everyone, the world would be a happy place, the global village would come true and all that hippy 'ish. But really, why not? Of course your and my ISP makes this forbidden in the contract they make you sign with them, they are only in it for the money for sure, but currently the Finnish Bureau for Consumer Protection states that this clause in the contract is an empty one. There is absolute no law against you sharing your internet with others.

But back to the La Fonera. I am excited, yet skeptical. Surely there must be 'a dog buried under it' as the old Finnish saying goes. I will keep you posted on what happens next.

"Special Offer for La Fonera for free (shipping cost and sales tax included)

This Special Offer is valid until 24-12-2006 date 24:00 hour and limited to 15.000 units and users that register or are already registered as Foneros. This Offer is limited to one router per user and shipping address. You will not be eligible for this Offer if you have previously purchased a subsidised La Fonera at

Once FON has confirmation that you have registered as a member of our Community, we will send you the La Fonera for free (shipping costs and sales tax are included). Once you have received your La Fonera, your will be required to install the La Fonera and maintain it activated within the FON Community. If for any reason you are not able to do so, we ask that you kindly pass the La Fonera onto a friend who wants to share WiFi as a Fonero."

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Wii will Wii will hurt you!

Yes it will. And that's why Nintendo is now worried about FAK's, their primary customer segment. Nintendo has the new Wii console out that is controlled by the Wii controller. The controller has a motion sensor kinda thing, that responds to real life movements (!) so that basically you could play tennis games by waving your hand or wrist. I haven't tried this, so this is what I guess the gadget does.

But here's the funny part: now there a a lot of reported incidents where these remotes have slipped from the greasy palms of some passionate wii-banging-kids causing serious damage to their environment. Check out the instructions before you go breaking your mommy's precious china or daddy's rare collection of german beer glasses in the heat of the game. I think all real computer nerds can say this aloud: Thou shall not mix real life with artificial life. Kids can't handle it.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Kriton Boys Come Around

As previously mentioned, The Chiton boys have been really busy lately. Busy making beats, busy sampling drums, busy learning to play sitar sounds through synths and busy just parenting in general. In the midst of this process they still had time to sit down and celebrate the forthcoming holiday season. So last weekend they locked themselves into the Alppilounge recording studios, packed the place with luxury snacks: Star shaped ginger bread, VSOP Cognac, hot juice, ever trendy Vodka and tasty liquers + some other stuff too (Thanks for this goes to Marky Mark – not the funky bunch. Dude, we loves U). Besides the obvious obesity and fratboy party shout outs they managed to work all night and complete their latest remix. This time they had to go from India to the West Indies to get the tasty elements they needed.

So here it is, Collie Buddz’s Come Around remixed by the Boyz Take a bite and pass it on the left hand side.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Drugs are bad, mmmmkay?

Ok, this is another videoflick that I'm posting here this week, but this material is hilarious. It's a vast source for Quasimoto kind of spoken samples.

Let's this be a warning to all you kids. Stay away from drugs of all kind. Drugs are baaaaad, mmmmmkay?

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Emo kids gone friggin' cuckoo and dancing to embrace their insanity and appearing pretty goofy while doing it and therefore not proving their point

I hope my own offspring will not end up like these brats. It's a weird phenomenon, try searching for "knuck if you buck" on Youtube. OMG.

Hindustani dubstep, I presume?

After last night’s recording session I became obsessed with playing sitar.I have tried a large variety of string instruments from cellos to 12 string acoustics and from banjos to bloody balalaicas. But sitars I haven’t layed my hands on yet, dayammn! I should get one from e-bay, I guess. Those babies rrrr hott!

So yesterday we once again experimented with old synths, digging out weird sounds. We were really hyped once we found a sound titled "Cryton", but it was a biiiig disappointment, no hotness was found there. But a feeling of great expectations soon arrived trumpeting the joy of life as we found the sitar sound. So we cranked the amps up and tried to to emulate the vibes from Alppila’s wicked Bollywood type-o-samples on his MPC. Nothing too original here I guess to begin with, but try to imagine this mixed with

- 1.5 litres of new reggae accapellas about sensi
- a large bowl of unwashed and dirty grimey subsynths
- 3 spoonfuls of Justin Timberlake kinda synth arpeggios
- 2 teaspoons of live electric bass
- Finely chopped themes from classic Indie rock songs
- 3 medium pieces of strongly echoed ItaloWestern-like guitars
- Mad echoes and dub delays to your taste

And you will once again get the point of being a Kriton. It is an organization of madness. But it’s all good, aint’t it?

And to make this blog accurate, Jzzi could point out the make and the model of the synth we used. Fi dem nerds out dere.


Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A Guy Called ?uest

Last saturday I had the pleasure of meeting Ahmir "?uestlove" Thompson from The Roots, when he stopped by in Helsinki to play a dj gig.

I know ?uest is a huge friggin icon for many of you jazzy hippie nu-soul type cats (the type of people who actually might use the term "cat" when referring to a male). And although The Roots is not always exactly my cup of tea (still, the new album is mad NICE!) still I must admit that ?uest is an incredibly talented and prolific musician and producer. All that blah blah yada yada, we all know that stuff. Musically, the man is near genius.

But the big news here is... This dude was one of the friendliest, nicest, sincerest and most outspoken people ive met in the music bizness. No ego trippin, no putting other artists down, no ass-kissin, no dissing, no pre-written biography answers type bullcrap. The guy was actually making conversation

People say that his dj gig wasn't maybe the hottest thing since sliced pizza (i didn't go since it was too late, too Kallio and i was too beat). But even if it had been crazy wicked, i wouldn't even regret not going. The interview was just enough for me. ?uest confivinced me that musos can be decent humans too. Which sometimes seems to escape me.

And also: he was one of the biggest dudes I've seen in all my life. I mean XXXXXL-large.

Friday, November 17, 2006

For the Love of Sneakers. Price 1800 U.S. Dollars

Hi, my name is jzZi and I am an Ebay-a-holic. But whatever, but there is so much cool stuff there.

Hennessy was blogging here about sneakers some time ago and yeah, I love ‘em too. I have scored more than my share of sneakers from eBay but just look at this Ebay-deal: apparently some people love & cherish rubbery kicks more than others.

The auction ended last weekend but lord, 1800 dollars sure is a lot of money to pay for a cardboard boxful of nostalgia from 1985. Especially when the same seller is auctioning a pair of similar original Air Jordan One's, currently for only USD 11.50.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

It's a dirty Yob, but someone's gotta do it.

Being a young person in the windy island of the Britons must be hard nowadays. First they banned you from football games if you had a registered history of rioting in these matches. You wuz surely a dangerous hooligan. Then they didn’t let you in certain pubs/bars/clubs if you happened to wear a Burberry cap. You wuz a friggin Chav. Now they have you under heavy surveillance if you wear a hoodie, you must be a goddamn Yob!. And being a Yob, means that you are most definitely suffering from ASBO, you little rascal!

We’ve come a long way from the 90’s lad culture, which was amusing, but pretty positive in most aspects. A bit of degrading of women, some overuse of alcohol and some stupid behaviour, that’s all.

But are these chavs and yobs really such a danger to average tea-and-biscuit-posse , or is this just a new fad of the media in the UK. You should check out Macintyre’s Big Sting. and make up your own mind…

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

What's wrong with this picture

Posing is an artform. And people are divided into three types when it comes to posing. First there are those who can pose and those who can’t. And then there are people who can’t but who have talented people helping them to look cool anyway.

Glam Rock is all about posing, and nowadays a lot of northern kids wanna play in some sort of glam band. This is a problem when they can’t pose and don’t have the right people who could make them look cool still. Let’s take a a look at this pic above. And I must say I have nothing against this band (the name of the group shall remain unmentioned), it’s the record company who should have paid a bit more attention and a few more euros on the stylist/AD.

Let’s start from the left. This guy’s pretty ok, he’s got the ripped clothing, a Lolita-like chewing gum and all. And he’s a bit like Nikki Sixx. Or maybe Awa from Lordi. Or one of the younger sisters of Tik Tak. I guess all teen girls and sugar daddys wanna take him home and rub him the right way.

But the trouble begins with the singer (the upfront guy must be the singer,’cos he’s… well.. upfront, like singers usually like to be situated). His only desire is to be like Sid Vicious, but the innocence from his face just deletes all viciousness from 15 meters around him. And the body posture… That’s a classic “I farted/I have crapped my pants”-pose. And it seems that there is a pile of something beneath him already.

And my favourite couple are these ”playas” on the right. First of all the hat-guy propably goes running back to the university to study more mathematics once he sees this picture with him wearing make-up for the first and last time. And he should give that hat back to his professor on the way.

The guy on the right either has a wig or then all that hair has been photoshopped afterwards, I can’t tell. Quite confusing indeed. And the guy with the hat actually seems to be holding this guys' balls. What’s up with that? Can’t hold your own balls? All I have in this world is my balls and my buddy’s balls an my word???

A few more hours in front of the mirror, a few more evenings watching Hanoi Rocks videos and a professional stylist. That’s all it takes kids. Honestly.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Snowed in, rollin' on 22’s

Today it finally came here, the illest time of the year. For people with cars this means that you have to put chrome rims to the basement and replace them with something more suitable for winter conditions.

Good news for wealthy Scandinavians is that Nokian has finally a new winter tire that fits even 22 inch rims. The new Hakkapeliitta 5 SUV’s are a necessity if your want to take your Hummer out for a ride to hunt for reindeer or such.

But if you listen to rap lyrics, 22’s are nowadays nothing to brag with, real players go for 24's or 26’s or like the realest n****s would roll with 28’s.

You see me rollin'...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Turbonegro, dead whales, Kurt Cobain’s money and Gen X’s victory over the Baby-Boomers

Since I am still enjoying the rock’n’roll vibes, I want to share this great picture with all of you.

It’s of course the only real thing that Norvegians should be proud of, especially since they are currently only the country in the world (with Japan, of course) that allows the practice commercial whaling, which should be harshly condemned because is brutal and completely useless.

Anyway, the picture above is Turbonegro playing live at Ankkarock in Helsinki in August, and this is the gig after which they weren’t even able to drink all their beer as reported earlier in our blog. Aren’t they the greatest rock’n’roll band in the world? Probably. If you go there and scroll down the page a bit, there are more great Turbonegro live pics from the same gig.

Still in keeping with the rock’n’roll theme, I just read that according to Forbes’ magazines listing, Kurt Cobain was the dead rock star making most money in the world last year. Kurt, or isn't it actually Courtney and Frances Bean, earned about 50 million dollars while The King himself only made 42 million dollars.

Let’s take this as a clear indication that the baby-boomer generation with all their money are finally losing the battle and that Grunge will never die!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Metal Hipster? That’s me, sir!

Ok, here it comes, my official announcement: I am a Metal Hipster ©. No more any of that boring old rap/indie/electronic-crap, just pure metal music for me, thanks. I am on that bandwagon now.

I (mostly) only listen to these bands now:

- Earth
- SUNN O)))
- Khanate
- Boris
- The Sword
- High On Fire
- Sleep
- Om
- Wolfmother
- Mastodon

And I started playing guitar again, as reported earlier, as well as developing an unhealthy appetite for scoring old guitar effect pedals from the ‘bay.

Why? I don’t know really. But right after having been listening and really getting into all that stuff, partially thanks to my man Mark, I read a newspaper article about Metal Hipsterism and I realized immediately that it was talking about me.

As it turns out, Metal Hipster, which is of course a very negative term to any real head banging metal-dude, is a nerdy white male music fan who has recently started listening to some of these particular metal/stoner/doom/drone/whatever bands. And who used to be really into something else before that. And apparently it is mandatory to dig all and any bands that's on Southern Lord label. But I used to be really into metal as a teenager, you know? And the fact is that those bands really rock AND/OR play interesting and fresh music, mostly without that stupid Spinal Tap-style irony/self-parody, or on the other any of that technical wanking usually associated with metal bands. At least I think so.

And hey, if you put together early Motorhead, early Black Sabbath, some Black Flag & Stooges, some Celtic Frost, early Sonic Youth, Bleach-era Nirvana, Metallica’s first album etc. and mix ‘em well and turn it up really loud, can you really get anything else than just good old rock’n’roll music? And please note the ‘early’ in front of all those bands.

Another point is that most of these new metal hipster's favorite bands are simply too left-field and strange for the mainstream of metal music and they will never be accepted into that genre. After all most of the metal audiences are some of the most conservative popular music audiences, along with Country & Western fans. Yeah, come and kick my ass for saying that, you spiky-haired dude in your Slipknot long-sleeve t-shirt.

But maybe I am wrong. Or maybe next month I am really into something else again.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Summer jams

rap is good
Originally uploaded by fiilinc.
I'm really not usually one to look back and reflect on things, i prefer to look forward. But since this is only short-period nostalgia, i gotta say it has been one hell of a year for rap music!

I mean, no disrespect for any other types of music, the past summer was crazy-filled with excellent hiphop & r&b singles and some very good albums. I gotta say that with some exceptions, most indie rock records this year has sucked. There hasn't been many hot dancehall singles (beside Cham!) this year. Dance/electronic? naaaaah, forget about that dude.

I'll give you a list of the ghottest s**t 2006 closer to the end of the year, obviously (you cant tell yet, since there is new Jigga, Jeezy and possibly Kanye still on the way). But i'll tell you what you'll remember as "those insanely hot summer 2006 tunes"... in, say 3 years to come.. Yes. these are all BIG hits, but after a couple of years, that IS all you will remember.

- Ross: Hustlin' (did anyne doubt that for a sec? no, i didnt think so)
- Jibbs: Chain Hang Low
- Cassie: Me & You
- E-40: Tell Me When To Go
- T.I.: What You Know
- Yung Joc: It's Going Down
- Kelis: Bossy
- Field Mob ft Ciara: So What
- Ghostface: Back Like That
- Too Short: Blow The Whistle
- 8Ball & MJG: Ridin' High
- The Pack: Vans
- Lupe Fiasco: Kick Push
- Chamillionaire: Ridin

Along with some 20 more songs, these will be the jams you'll remember summer 2006 of. This is what i think. Save the list and check for yourself after a couple of yrs.
Rap is still number one.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Keep your B.C. Rich and sell your crappy oilpaintings

It seems that the prices for classic electric guitars are now on the rise. According to Business 2.0 magazine the index for collectible guitars has gone up 80 % since the year 2000. That's far better than the index of paintings (up 20 %) or Dow Jones industrial average (up about 0 %).

The reason for this is that the baby boomers with spare cash are now buying the instruments that were played by their idols way back. 50's Stratos could go for like 40.000 bucks right now, and a 1960 Les Paul was sold for $192.000 dollars and a same type of a guitar manufactured only a year earlier went for $250.000.

What is excpected to be the next trend after these pre-70's classic models is actually early 80's heavy metal models made in the US: B.C. Rich, Jackson etc. You could easily make a good money on those babies, if you buy 'em now and wait a few years.

My metal shredding baby from the eighties is an Ibanez RG-750 from the year 1989. I guess I'll have to wait 5-7 years until those babies are worth a lot. But I ain't still gonna sell my baby, we go way back a long time...

Monday, October 16, 2006

Front Lawn Mowin' Hustler

I guess that Al is the king of musical parodies.

Just listen to the lyrics:

...They see me mowin'...My front lawn
...They see me roll on, my Segway!

Tower Records Out Of Business

AP reported a few days ago that...

On Oct. 6, a federal bankruptcy judge in Wilmington, Del., approved the sale of Tower to Los Angeles-based liquidator Great American Group for $134.3 million.

While no firm date has been set for the stores to close, "Going Out of Business" signs went up this week at Tower's 89 stores in 20 states and the chain's 3,000 employees have been told they will be laid off.

The company owes creditors about $200 million and filed for Chapter 11 reorganization in August. In its filing, Tower said it has been hurt by an industrywide decline in music sales, downloading of online music and competition from big-box stores such as Wal-Mart.

Quite cheap izznit, if you think of what Google paid for Youtube...

The future seems pretty hard for the people working in the CD-selling industry. Tower records is the first big one to fall, who's next? Virgin Megastores? In the days of ipods and such, old fashioned media consumption is about to change for good. Why bother buying stuff offline, if you can get the same stuff cheaper online, or even for free

But then again, I may not miss Tower Records all that much, 'cos I'm not into buiyng cd's anyway. I'm more like a Beat Street and TurntableLab kinda guy, But wait, whattaheck is happening over here Should we start bidding or whut????

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Shit on the streets

I almost stepped on this on my street couple of days ago:

(So that other dogs and dog-owners don't get blamed for this!!!)"

Makes sense to me.
Who doesn't like dogs and who likes shit on the street?

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

AdSense is getting out of hand & Dalai Lama

Those AdSense ad links up there are getting getting way too wierd. Erickson Sky Cranes? Come again?

AdSense is supposed to scan thru the text of our blog and to offer links to stuff that should/could intrest people reading our posts but sometimes those links are just too far out there. Yo Google! Get a grip. Anyhow people, even though I am not supposed to say this as it apparently against some rules, please click on thosew Adsense links as many times as you like. Every click earns us €€€, in theory at least. Thanks!

* * * UPDATE!!! * * *

Right after I posted this, the AdSense link changed into "Himalayan Heli Skiing Adventure"-thing, which brings me into completely different subject: His Holiness Dalai Lama, the 14th Dalai Lama, the Spiritual Leader of Tibetan people , who is in exile in India because of China having taken over Tibet, and who I have enormous respect for, mainly because I used to be big Beastie Boys fan I guess, is currently visiting Helsinki.

Well, my pregnant girlfriend claims to have seen him yesterday in downtown Helsinki, checking out latest mobile phone models at a DNA store. At least she saw a tibetan buddhist monk shopping for a new mobile phones. Whether it was actually Dalai Lama or not, I am very disappointed that she DID NOT go to that monk and ask him to hold his hand on her belly to give a blessing or to transfer some good vibes or something to our baby. Damn.

But remember this: FREE TIBET !!!

Friday, September 29, 2006

Sneakers And Stuff

Let's face it, we're all sneaker addicts here at the Kriton Music. We love our sneakers, we can't stop buying new sneakers and we do everything to keep them look like they're fresh out of the box .

And we love Flickr, 'cos we luv posting our stupid pics for everyone to see. Now here is where Sneakerplay comes along. It's a community based on a shared interest in sneakers and taking pictures of them. How cool is that?

Which reminds me of the fact, that I should get a new pair of Air Force ones...

Beck’s Cellphone Is Dead

Hey, here is the new single from Beck “Cellphone Is Dead” , and it’s pretty good! Click the song title and get it while you can.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Kriton remix business is HUUUU-GE!

Originally uploaded by fiilinc.
Yes it is. And to boost the image of hugeness, just imagine Donald Trump saying the title.

But it is true in a sense. During the past few weeks we have been making a couple 100% bona fide original Kriton remixes, that you will get to hear pretty soon (=as soon as something is mixed and mastered). But aside that, we have been busy doing some new remixes the old school blend-style at home. And also, don't forget that Busta Rhymes / Swizz Beatz Remix that Hennessy did a couple of weeks ago. Up there in Myspaceland as well as da Kritonville.

So there's a lot of new heat: i made the Missy Elliott / Three 6 Mafia -blend (no, dont call it a "mash-up", that's so 2003) "Fly Control" off of two urban classics from last year. That's up for listening/downloading at the Kriton MySpace page.

Also, Hennessy's mashed together a nice combo of Bone Crusher's Can't Get No Lower and revival riddim Police Inna Helicopter. If they mated? yes, that's right: Can't Get No Helicopter!!!
Also up for downloading at Kriton Myspace site today! So watch that show.

I also have two new heaters ready and out the oven (big 2006 hits), they will be posted on the myspace site soon enough. And i will tell you what they are, when they are.

And on top of that: the very cool dudes of Top Billin also promised to play some of our new remix ishh at the GRAND OPENING of their new club - Top Billin! That's on friday 29.9. at Rose Garden, Helsinki. And you should go there. Because Top Billin is the shiznitzel. if you don't know you better axx somebody.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Dear Metro, Welcome to Espoo.

Dear Metro,
I would like to warmly welcome you, the extension of the Helsinki’s one and only subway line, to the wonderful City of Espoo.

As you indeed already know, many of us have been waiting for you since the 1980s, even if the local decision-makers in the city government, most of them from more or less politically conservative and right-leaning, have not taken much heed to the wishes of the citizens.

We are very happy that you have finally decided to come and to bring means of relatively economic and in long-term definitely environmentally much more sustainable mass-transit for the people living in Espoo. Even, if it will still take anywhere between 7-15 years before the trains actually start running.

Nevermind the fact that many of us do not even live in Espoo anymore. And let's just forget about the fact that some of us have indeed moved away to Helsinki and decided to stay there, probably completely unrelated to the metro-issue.

* * * * *

Ok, maybe my so-called 'Open Letter'/rant needs so explanation, maybe not. Anyhow, it's cool that City Of Espoo, the "Los Angeles of Finland" finally decides allow the subway to be built there. The goverment will pay for 30% of it and all. I have been waiting this for 20 years already but the nice people in power in Espoo always resisted for no reason at all and drove their cars to Helsinki every day all day (where most of them work anyway) causing air pollution and traffic congestion. During all these years some of the arguments against the subway bordering on propaganda have gone along the lines (in worst cases) like "if we build a metro line to Espoo from Helsinki, then all the poor unemployed alcoholic white trash from eastern Helsinki will flow to Espoo and bring all their social problems along...". Yeah, right.

But now those people have finally lost the game.

Friday, September 22, 2006

I Love Spaceships. I really do.

The Space Shuttle Atlantis returned to earth and landed safely at NASA's Kennedy space Center in Florida yesterday, after 12 days in space. Hooray!

‘Yeah, so what?’, you might ask. But let's spend a minute thinking about spaceships. Spaceships are cool. In fact they are about the coolest things man has been able to conceive and build.

Let me quote NASA here: ‘The space shuttle, the most complex machine ever built, is the only spacecraft with its robust capacity. The shuttle’s capacity enables human today to build the world’s largest orbiting laboratory, paving way back to the moon, on to Mars and further into the universe.’

Flying machine that flies a bunch of people away from the earth? Whoa, dude! And just look at that picture of Atlantis landing there.

Ok, maybe there’s one flying thing almost equally cool as a space shuttle and that’s the F-117A Night Hawk, or the Stealth Fighter, but since it’s a military aircraft (and I am a pacifist) plus it cannot go into space, we can forget about it.

And when I think about things that I though were cool when I was a kid and that I still think are cool, there aren’t that many things left there, except for spaceships of course. Police cars and fire trucks? Not really. Candy and lemonade? Well, I am not really sure anymore. Chopper-bicycles; doesn’t every trendy wannabe-rocker-idiot have one of those these days? You get what I mean?

Spaceships. ‘Nuff Respect!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

New DeeJaying Invention, Straight Aus Deutschland. Copyright protected!

Whoa! Now all you deejays out there need to check this out, it’s coming straingt outta Munich, Germany. Traditionally the land of true old skool engineering skills, seen?

* * * * *

"45 Twister"

Mein lieber Herr die Erde ist eine Scheibe und sie ist aus Vinyl... und Dein Twister is suuuper !!!

The 45 Twister is the ultimate tool for every DJ playing 45 singles. The 45 Twister guarantees that the 7inches are able to scratch, mix, cut perfectly as a 12inch! Beat-juggling, contest scratching - no problem anymore! The 45 Twister works on every turntable, because it is a precision product made in EU of best stabile material, perfect measured 45 compatible, plus a super soft-rubber surface mat. This high grade tool guarantees the most fast and safe way to play your 7inches! The "45 Twister" was developed and designed by DJ Enne.

45 Twister Quotes:

Mein lieber Herr die Erde ist eine Scheibe und sie ist aus Vinyl... und Dein Twister is suuuper !!!
(Arno Stuermer / Soul-Sugar / Vienna)

If you wanna mix & cut 45's proper there's no alternative!
(Florian Keller / Compost)

Alle wollen den 45twister! Ich bin begeistert!
(Hery Storch / Unique Records)

Zum Auflegen TOP!
(DJ Mirkomachine)

This little adaptor is genuss!
(Jon Kennedy / Grand Central / Tru Thoughts)

* * * * *

And hey, it is "Made In EU" too. The price here in Finland seems to be 19€, at least in the famous Lifesaver record store.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The New Baby MPC

For anyone interested in making sample based electronic music: I just had to post this picture. It’s the latest member of the famous AKAI MPC-range of beat making machines, the AKAI MPC500. No one seems to have any idea when it is going to be released or what functions it will be lacking in comparison to its bigger brother(s) but look how cute it is!


Now it is official too, see the official site by clicking this.

But then the real let down & bad part: current list price: $1,299. Say whaaat?!???

Friday, September 15, 2006

TV standards

It's suprising to see how some tv shows can keep up their standards and not lose their grip. There are many examples of those who can't do it, but not so many of those who could. One of my all time favourites is of course the Simpsons. The first seasons were a bit more clever than the rest, but I must say that I'm still always nailed to the screen, once the classic theme begins.

They are now actually converting the early episodes of the series into Ipod-format, so you could get your Simpsons with you where ever you go. I guess the Simpsons are just about the best mobile video content you can imagine.

The clip above is not new, but it's hilarious. Yah mon!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

New exclusive Kriton Posse material out now!

Hennessy has remixed the NYC anthem "New York Shit" by Busta Rhymes. This track was done during one hot afternoon this past summer in a far away summer cottage / studio, where some of the Kriton boys like to chill out and hide from the urban stress and feel the Hyphy/Crunk Sauna. So you should feel the heat from this baby.

This remix pays homage to the big apple and the 80's thru 90's hip hop producers. This remix will not be on the Kriton High School Bangers' upcoming "..presents the Bangers" -remix cd, it's a special treat for all Kriton fans out there.

You can download this exclusive banger for free from

Monday, September 11, 2006

SMASH ASEM: Riot in Helsinki, or was it really?

Time for some politics again.

On Saturday afternoon, September 9th, Finnish police force closed down several Leftist & Anarchist groups’ legal SMASH ASEM demonstration against the ASEM 2006 summit in the center of Helsinki.

Helsingin sanomat writes:

The "Smash Asem" demonstration began peacefully at around 6 p.m., but was unable to move on from the gathering point in the square in front of Kiasma by the arrival of around 200 riot police equipped with shields, helmets, and truncheons.

Not merely the 300 or so demonstrators were hemmed in, but also passers-by on their way home, journalists and cameramen, and people who had turned up out of curiosity to see what was happening, and whether the demonstrators would make good on their website pledge to "bring at least a bit of disorder to the streets of Helsinki".

There were a further several hundred police officers behind the inner ring, as well as five Helsinki City Transport buses arranged as a wall.

In all 136 people including two members of Helsinki City Council were arrested and kept in custody over night for questioning. Five people, none of which were police officers, were injured.

The police prohibited people from using their constitutional right of demonstrating in a public space, right to gather and the right to free speech. During the demonstration some police officers also apparently threatened Mr. Ilkka Tapale, a social-democrat member of parliament by telling him that they could arrest him too (note: according to the Finnish law they cannot do this). Police and Finnish BOrder & Customs officers were filming the demonstrators and and passers-by for their own records. Names and IDs of both demonstrators and people watching the incidents were recorded before they were allowed to leave the place. Police officers hid their name and ID badges.

Finland is a democratic society that prides itself as an example of a democracy, egalitarianism, all encopassing welfare state, transparency of administration and so on and so on.

As J-Dilla (RIP) and NWA said it “Fuck The Police”.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Rap impersonator extraordinaire

I used to consider impersonators as pretty friggin' dull, I mean guys like JP don't really make me laugh. Then there are guys like Dave Chapelle, who do it pretty good - not maybe technically, but they can capture the real essence of the person in the case (like the classics "I'm Rick James, b****" and such). But this guy in the clip above is awesome. He don't make me laugh either, but uzgotta admit, he's the top cat. He goes so smoothly from Snoop Dogg to Jay Z to DMX.

And I also love the beat (Nas: thief's Theme) that samples the ever great "Inagaddadavida" by Iron Butterfly . What actually makes me laugh, is that it reminds me of the Simpsons' episode, where the reverend went berzerk and started singing the same tune, with the lyrics "in the garden of eden, baby..."

Friday, September 08, 2006

Marbury Starbury fo' $15 only

Once again, interesting news stolen from the excellent Popbitch-newsletter:

While every top NBA-baller has their own $150+ dollar sneaker models out, New York Knick’s Stephon Marbury has made it his mission to bring out a line of shoes for poor kids. The cost of his new sneaker the Starbury is just $15. And the dude is wearing the shoe on court himself.

Even if I personally hate the way those techno-b-ball-sneakers look (I prefer more that classic old school style in sneakers), I think this is actually pretty cool thing and it somehow reminds me a lot of 50 Cents’ G-Apple thing.

The Starbury sneakers are sold only in US discount store Steve & Barry's, which prides itself on enabling a family to be clothed for a year for $100. The shoe has become a word-of-mouth phenomenon. Queues run outside the stores, with a two-item per person limit now enforced on the Starbury range. Marbury's aim is to show people just how little it really costs to make high quality sneakers. "Two hundred to buy a pair of sneakers? That's groceries for the week," he says. "History is going to say Stephon Marbury changed the game."

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The New KITT. Sucks.

Whoa! Apparently this is the new KITT (Knight Industries Two Thousand) from the up-coming new Knight Rider movie. Actually, it sucks. Please bring back the real KITT.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Edu For President!

This is the new s***t. Edu Kehäkettunen feat. Stig Dogg have remade the hook from the song Liiku by the mormon (!) R&B-singer Jonna and the mainstream rapper Cheek.

Here's the link to EDU'S PAGE, there you have the song. If you speak finnish, you will get the message how they've turned the catchphrase or the lyrical hook around to make it really durrrrty - not a surprise here, concidering what Edu and Stiggity have done in th past. . If you don't get any finnish, just enjoy the autotune - it's still all good.

I spoke with Stig the other day, and he said people are already requesting this song during his shows - although it's actually Edu's material...

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Guitar Gear Whore Strikes Again! Hanoi Rocks Equipment 4 Sale

To all you Rock*n*Roll Fiends out there, check this out. It is a Marshall JMP bass tube amp from 1973 for sale on Finnish Huuto.Net auction site, but what’s special here is that the seller claims that it was previously owned by Nasty Suicide from the Legendary Hanoi Rocks.

What more need I say about this? If it really is Nasse’s old amp, it is a piece of Finnish Rock’n’Roll history and at least so far it is not that expensive either. Those old tube Marshall amps change hands for
big money
these days anyway if you check out Ebay. Damn, if I had more money I would invest on that and sell it later to a Japanese collector for crazy money.

After the original Hanoi Rocks line up broke up Nasty played with Johnny Thunders, had couple of bands (Cherry Bombs, Demolition 23 most notably) and then quit rock’n’roll and returned to Finland to complete high school. Later he got into university and graduated with a provisor’s diploma in Dept. of Pharmacology at the University of Helsinki. But you know, apparently he did have some knowledge of different chemicals and substances prior to that - from The Rock'n'Roll University.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Attention all NYC crackheads, return all Dinosaur Jr.'s gear now!

Damn, just when I confessed my new-found love for early 1990s indie-rock, Dinosaur Jr. get their gear stolen in NYC. That sucks, attention all yo’ NYC crackheads, return all that gear immediately.

Anyhow, I am such gear whore that I hope wish they had posted pics of all of those lovely guitars.

Dinosaur Jr Gear Stolen (Long Island City, NY)
Wednesday, 30 August 2006

After a blistering set last night in Brooklyn, NY the band awoke this morning to find that their trailer had been broken into and all of the gear has been taken. J's Amma guitar, the mountain man guitar, Lou's Rickenbacker... EVERYTHING IS GONE. They are still taking inventory to see what else is gone but they were pretty much wiped out.

WE NEED YOUR HELP!!! Spread the word to everyone you know, every music store, pawn shop, club... anywhere you can think they may show up. If you have ANY information let us know - management @ Thank you.

* Guitars:
1959 Fender Jazzmaster SN# 38927.
-decal coming off. cracked headstock at top near low E peg. color black with purple/bluish sparkle coming through. adonized pick guard gold metal. Tune-o-matic bridge gold, tuning pegs gold.

1961-3 Fender Jazzmaster SN# 62012.
-purple sparkle, black pickup covers. headstock repaired, a whole new piece of wood was glued on for the top part of the headstock under the tuners and up a 1/2” , along the whole top of the headstock. gold tune-o-matic bridge, gold tuners.

1964-5 Fender Jazzmaster SN# L21581.
-orange, white pearl pickguard, stickers we're all over it, original tuners.

Fender Purple Jazzmaster new SN# R074329.
-purple sparkle with matching headstock gold adonized guard tune-o-matic bridge.

Rory Gallagher Stratocaster new SN# R25507.
-has a big gold grover tuning peg on low E

Rickenbacker 197? Fireglo Bass SN# 4001.

B.C. Rich Warlock Bass SN# 4242413

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Drunks at the newspaperstand

It’s great that all the best subcultures have their own zines. And there seems to be one out there for those who adore the almighty alcoholic beverages. Modern Drunkard is the magazine for you drunks out there. I shortly looked at the web version, and boy… they’ve got it all:

- a guide to manly drinks
- booze reviews
- wino wisdom
- guns and tequila
- drunkard of the month

I still don't think that it's actually very modern to be drunk, or is it? Is booze really the new cool?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Thumbs Up fi Apple

Like all nerds know, Apple is replacing 1.8 million batteries that have been used on their Powerbook/Ibook- laptops, because they have a risk of heating up a bit too much. I just checked my serial number and Apple promises to replace my battery as well, although it's less than 6 months old. This is how all companies should work: if there is a problem, face it and do somenthing about it. I think that Apple can handle this part very well. And if you want to blame someone, blame Sony - they're the ones who made this batteries in question...

Free Music - ain't no such thaaang??

Many people keep on talking about the new internet revolution "Web 2.0" , which basically is what services GoogleMap, Flickr or Youtube and such have to offer now.

But what I find really interesting, is the key question of sharing of legal free audiovisual content on public websites, I'm not referring to p-to-p here, they're already the king s***t. We had an earlier post here about free movies and today I read an article about a new service/company called "Spiral Frog". As of december they will be offering: " ad-supported legal downloads of audio and video content licensed from the catalogs of the world’s major and independent record labels.

They're starting with Universal's catalog and they've already paid in advance to the label for the right to use their material. It's interesting to see, how these new business ideas will work, there is definately a shift in the distribution and consumption of music in the near future.

I for one believe in the ad-based business model. It offers endless possibilities for youth marketing with services like YouTube an so on. It's a win-win situation: kids get what they want for free and advertisers get an unique channel that provides an optimal media environment to engage the kids. I mean a kid who's wathing a 50 cent backstage video on the net will be most likely in a mood to get interested in the new G-Unit sneakers he will be offered at the same time...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Question: Why is it…?

You remember that old Sadat X track, “F**K DAT!”? I do. Having bit of an attitude is always good thing, it’s a survival thing if you are living a urban jungle. Letting out your anger is also good for mental health, I suppose, so here we go. Here are four irritating/stupid/fucked up things that I encountered during last weekend:

1.) Friday noon, outside my office building here in Sörnäinen AKA 'Kurvi' there was an old alcoholic/substance abuser passed out on the street. Just like that. Next to people standing around waiting for their busses and so on. Yeah, this is bit of a rough neighborhood but whatever. Fuck that.

2.) Friday evening, we were on our way to movies. In the tram there was this complete postcard punk guy with his big stupid pink mohawk-hairdo, piercings all over his face, customized leather jacked with all the necessary gear, boots & braces and whatnot. However, I simply could not help hearing while he was discussing different types of English imported ciders and their taste characteristics like a bloody connoisseur with his pal. What’s up with that? I have heard about cider punks but in my world real raw/grungy punks drink that nasty home-made alcohol (‘Kilju’) until they pass out, not snotty & expensive foreign ciders. Get a life you middle-class poser.

3.) Saturday noon, I was leaving my house and there was an old alcoholic/substance abuser passed out/sleeping by the wall of the next building from our house. While I stopped to check him out and to document the scene by taking a photo, another old drunken guy arrived and made sure that the guy on the ground was alive (he was apparently just sleeping…). The second guy thanked me for caring about my fellow man and blah blah. Whatever. Those drunks are major obstacle for increasing of the real estate prices in my hood. Not cool.

4.) Our Internet connection was not working from friday morning to sunday afternoon. That’s fucked up too. Yeah, it’s been cutting on/off a bit every once in a while but never for such a long time. Well, I called my ISP and finished the contract, since they were asking for it. Besides, it’s good to change your ISP every 6 months or so, so that you get all the good deals like 3 first monthly payments 50% off.

Monday, August 28, 2006

“ has new recommendations for you…”

Have you ever purchased books from Well, I have, several books in fact. You know how that have their system where after every book you browse you get automatic recommendations like, “other people who bought this book also liked this book” etc.? That’s neat I think, and I have ended buying books based on that too. But, and here is a big BUT, couple of days I ago sent me an email:

“XXXXXX XXXX, has new recommendations for you based on items you purchased or told us you own.

We recommend:
Romancing Mary Jane: A Year in the Life of a Failed Marijuana Grower by Michael Poole

Recommended because you purchased or rated:
* Pot Planet: Adventures in Global Marijuana Culture

Book Description
“This is an intimate, funny, and eye-opening account of ten months in the life of a neophyte marijuana grower. Entering middle age, Michael Poole decides to retire from the film industry. He moves to British Columbia and throws himself wholeheartedly into marijuana cultivation, thinking that he'll make a bundle. Along the way, he experiences all the paranoia and other vagaries of the pot farming subculture. Romancing Mary Jane is an engaging blend of metaphysics, marijuana, and midlife crisis.“

Yeah, I admit it, I did buy Pot Planet like two years ago and I did enjoy it a lot but now I am starting to feel that THEY know a little bit too much about me & my preferences…

Free Movies Fallen Out of Copyright

We already got, but here’s more free visual entertainment for yo’all, please spread the link.

Free Movies, Documentaries, Cartoons, TV-Shows, Music & Comedy - 100% handpicked content chosen to inform, educate, shock and entertain you.

Most of the old films and cartoons are in public domain: "when a work's copyright or patent restrictions expire, it enters the public domain and may be used by anyone for any purpose." -wikipedia. The newer media is probably not in public domain, so watch them while you can. Tomorrow they could be gone.

The owner of this site only finds the media and makes it visible for the masses. Nothing else. If you know of free movies not listed on this page let me know. Also, please notify of broken content.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Kelly Clarkson totally rules! Awesome, man!

Now, to celebrate the fact that the weekend is here, I got here something funny for all of you fans of Kelly Clarkson, from, or course.

Crack open a bottle of beer and click here, it’s a great video from Metal Skool’s gig where the band notice Kelly & her boyfriend in the audience and pick them up on stage, make her drink Chivas Regal whiskey out of the bottle and sing a Guns’N’Roses song & dance & act stupid with them. It’s kinda incredible stuff thinking about her public image but goes to show that she knows how to have fun like a regular person and all that.

The whole thing is 100% pure American Fun, entertaining like h*ll, and something that even Somi would probably appreciate.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Gorilla Biscuits reunion

I haven't really been into hardcore punk music for like six years or so and haven't been up to date on the whole scene. So I was really surprised to read that Gorilla Biscuits (one of the best punk/hardcore bands eva) is on a reunion tour. How cool is that?

Though they might not be as hard as they used to be in the late 80's, early 90's, but they still get my full respect. I just hope the haven't gained too much weight and started drinkin' beer or anything too middle classy. It's also too bad that Sammy ain't banging the drums no more, he was one of my favourites, the guy who looked like he was 11 years old in the album covers of Youth Of Today.

GB is also recording a new album and remastering the classic "Start Today". Go youtubing and check 'em out. Youtube is great for many purposes, and it is also a great way to reminiscence the glory days of NYHC - if you're the type who likes to walk down the memory lane.

Osama Loves Whitney - and other stuff too...

You probably already read this everywhere but it is still really fascinating to get inside the head of AmeriKKKas Most Wanted man.

Stolen from’s excellent weekly newsletter:

"Kola Boof is a Sudanese poet and member of the Sudanese People's Liberation Army. She claims she was kept as a sex slave by Osama Bin Laden in Morocco in 1998. Kola tells us that Osama:

· Is a big fan of Miami Vice and McGyver
· Answers to the nickname "Somi"
· Liked her to dance naked to B52s' Rock Lobster, while he shouted at her "Dance like a Caucasoid girl!
· Respects Van Halen
· Is very good at deep sea fishing
· Liked hunting birds and wild boar
· Was obsessed by Whitney Houston

After this I don’t really get it why he hates western world? Maybe we should send Dave Lee Roth, Whitney, Don Johnson and the guy who palyed Rico Tubbs, McGyver and The B52’s to meet him and to try to chill him out a bit. They could party, go fishing and hunting together and watch old Miami Vice episodes and do all kinds of cool stuff together. Maybe 'Somi' wouldn't feel so much like blowing up aeroplanes and skyscrapers after that anymore.

It was also reported somewhere else that Osama thought that Whitney is the most beautiful woman in the world and he was very much concerned with Whitney's apparent drug problems, which he felt were caused by American culture and her husband Bobby Brown. And because Bobby had 'brainwashed' Whitney, Osama even threatened to have Bobby Brown assasinated. Osama also wanted to give Whitney as a present a villa he owns in Khartoum, Sudan.

Monday, August 21, 2006

It’s All About Elvis’ House. Uri Geller (Needs) To Strike Back. Hard!

I just read news about how the legendary Spoon Bender from the 1970s and also one of Michael Jackson’s best friends, magician Uri Geller is caught up in a court case with Ebay and involving Elvis Presley’s former home. This is the house which Elvis apparently bought with his first royalty check and where lived, although only for 13 months, with his parents and grand mother before he moved to Graceland.

Some facts about the house here:

“Elvis Presley bought the four-bedroom, two-bath house at 1034 Audubon Drive in Memphis, Tennesee, in 1956 with a down payment of $500. During his time in the white, ranch-style house with an outdoor swimming pool, Presley's career took off with hits such as "All Shook Up" and "Don't be cruel."

“Part of the legend is that the neighbors did not like Elvis. Some of the neighbors were said to regard the Presleys as “white trash, hillbillies.” Or they viewed his performances as crude, or sinful. Apparently not everyone on Audubon Drive shared those views. A few of the surviving neighbors are careful to explain that they liked the family, but did not like the noise and confusion surrounding them.”.

Apparently Mr. Geller placed a winning bid of 905 100 US dollars for house on Ebay in May. However, when Geller and his lawyers demanded that the current owners and residents had to get out of the house within two months’ time they cancelled the deal and sold the house again, this time directly to a record producer Mike Curb, who paid them one million dollars for the house.

Now Geller is mad and is demanding compensation since when you are selling something on Ebay you are under a binding contract to sell etc. Never mind whether Geller really needs any monetary compensation - he is apparently filthy rich - but I am still on his side. People who cheat on online-auctions suck. And I personally would be very careful not to piss off a magician.

Go Uri! Punish them! At least you can bend all of those stupid people’s teaspoons for revenge!