Razz Dat!

Now, if you want to loose completely mindlessly some of your employers’ time while waiting for the holidays to begin, go play with this thing.

It’s Razz Mixer, kind of a online recording device where you can record your own stupid... hmmm, well basically anything. Do a rap or tell a joke, make a political speech or just upload your favorite track and fart into the mic and play with the stupid sound effects provided in the mixer. In fact, I cannot think of anything stupider than that. But what’s even better, in theory you can win 250 USD while doing it.

Don't say it, put it on a T-Shirt

Last nite I watched BET Hip Hop awards, which is like the Oscars for hip hop: a lot of great artists, no real surprises and a lot of bullshit said on stage.

But they were all there, and all the biggest anthems got played. The hottest moments were in my opinion (not particulary in this order):

1) Luda's performance as a response to Nas. Quite satirical, humorous. Read the T-Shirt. It's a powerful media.

2) Game's performance of "One Blood" that ended in a boring speech about beefs. That he respects Jigga and Fitty. Yadada. Even Jay-Z himself fell asleep during these words.

3) Busta's speech after receiving the "best live perfomer" award or something like that. He pretty straightforwardly dissed a lot of these new cats who just stand on the stage holding their groins.

4) Almost all artists had hoodies with shiny blingy things on them. What's up wit that? Rappers shop nowadays at H&M's?

5) Lil Wayne was really hyped and jumped around a lot, even after his set

6) Dipset soooo ain't about singing. Jim Jones couln't find a note if he ran over it on a H3

7) Chamillionaire seemed like really a humble guy, a bit lost on the stage.

And the track of the year was.... "it's going down" by Young joc.

Damn, girl! Watch out for those Flames....

Yo’all know about this already fo ‘sho but I just want to express my deep feelings for Lost’s lovely Kate AKA Evangeline Lily, who house just burned down in Hawaii. Damn!

And this piece of news fits just perfectly in with the vibe of destruction and general f**ked-up:ness that has been going on with Kriton Records’ official website www.kriton.biz recently.

Kriton crash!

Old news for those who have tried to check our site (www.kriton.biz) and bad news for those who are looking into visiting: kriton.biz is down again. We hope to get it fixed it in a couple of days.

Still reminding you to go there asap when it's back on: the Collie Buddz remix "Come Around" (a.k.a. When The Kriton Come Around...) is up for downloading!! watch this space, we'll tell you when to go!

**************
#UPDATE # 21.12.2006

WE ARE BACK ON! I REPEAT: WE ARE BACK ON!
Yes, Kriton.biz is working again.
Now go there and download that crazy sucker called "When Kriton Come Around".
It is sooooo worth it.

Stig will hold 'em

We the Kriton Bwoyz have been diggin' Stig Dogg since the day one and two. Stig is the man. And now he's got a brand new vid out, with a trendy poker theme. Check this new piece of artwork out, there are some porn star cameos and such, so pay attention...

We always appreciate the silly overuse on bubbly. Those who can, do it.

Very Special Blends AKA free mp3s! Go get 'em!

When we started this blog some months back we promised that Kriton Music is above all 'an independent 100% free record label', remember?

Well, in order to keep that promise, every once in a while we need to deliver, which we have done along the way fo' sho, but right now and in keeping with the spirit of the holiday season and all that, I want to remind all of you that we have a very special extra secret Kriton-webpage decicated to
Some Very Special Blends.

So click that fat motha and go NOW there and fill up all yo' hard drives, iPods and whatnot & enjoy!

Doctor's Order: Cannabis is Go! in Finland.

Right on! This is good news from today’s newspaper. Or is it really?

The right to use medicinal cannabis in pain relief has been granted for the first time in Finland. A man who hurt his back and neck seriously in an car accident and who has been forced to take different opiate-based pain killers take continuously for four years was given prescription for one year to use medicinal cannabis. Obviously the side-effects of taking medicinal grade morphine or heroin or other hardcore-opiate derivatives for four years were judged to be bit heavy for anyone.

The man had to appeal for court and the decision in his favor took 1.5 years to go through. It is also strictly for one year with no promise of continuation after that.

So basically he can have his weed in order to help him kick the morphine-habit and then after a year he is forced to go directly back to using it again. Is cannabis really so dangerous that it is officially better to use morphine instead, or what?

And since this is the first case in Finland, where is he going to score his weed and/or hash? I am sure local pharmacies do not carry cannabis products since importing any kind of cannabis product into Finland is a serious crime carrying penalties of up to several years in prison. This applies to pharmacists too. Maybe he has to grow his own, which of course is strictly illegal too. In fact it is currently illegal to even have seeds, ceramic pots or any other similar things that could be considered as equipment and accessories to be intended to be used in producing cannabis in any form.

Or maybe now it’s time for someone to form the first Finnish cannabis buyers’ club?

But seriously, this case just shows once again how conservative, backwards and hypocrite Finland really is.

NEWSFLASH! NEWSFLASH! NEWSFLASH!

Ok, turns out that the local pharmacist, who also happened to be the person who helped and supported the dude in pain with the court case against The Man, got a special license to order a one-year-supply of official dutch medicinal weed from aDutch state controlled ganja-provider...

Kobe beef and Pata Negra, por favor

When it comes to food, I sometimes like being elitistic. I may not be the ultimate connoisseur of the culinaristic brotherhood extraordinaire, but I’m known to enjoy the good things in life once in a while. What I’m reporting here is not suitable for hard core vegans, so they might consider clicking this instead. However this story is a story of one of the most happiest animals in the machinery of western and oriental food industry.

Last friday I had the priviledge to enjoy both Pata Negra and Kobe beef on the same plate. Pata Negra may not be such a rare treat, it’s just probably the best kind of Spanish ham (jamón serrano) that comes from Iberia. The point of this delicacy is that this type of ham comes from black Iberian pigs, who roam freely in the groves of cork oak and their diet consists mainly of sweet and dandy acorns.

Kobe beef is a bit of the same thing, but still a lot more. First of all, the Kobe beef is flown especially from Japan . That’s elitistic to begin with, right? The Kobe beef comes from a breed of cattle called Wagyu, and the guys over there have been selectively breeding for this marbling grade for centuries. What makes Kobe such a tasty form of meat comes from a few facts:

• The cattle receives several massages during the day
• During the massage they are rinsed with beer and/or sake
• They are massaged by hand
• They are also fed with beer/sake
• After a hard day someone actually sings lullabies to the cattle, so that they fall asleep relaxed.

The point of this kind of nurture is that these animals are supposedly happy until the bitter end and and therefore have no stress.

Was it worth it? Very often really rare dishes taste not too good or not at least as well as they should after you have paid a small fortune on them. But both Pata Negra and Kobe beef were pretty goddamn delicious and they were as smooth as you could expect.

I became a Fonero today. A what?

* Hi jzZi !
* You are the # 184XXX member of the FON Community, and you're alien.

It's on now. I read about it in a newspaper today and I am already one of them. 'A Fonero'. Here's the deal: There is a Spanish company: www.fon.com and they have a special deal for you if you live in Finland. When you register at the site they will send you a free WI-FI router, 'La Fonera', completely free of charge, apparently. But by signing up, you promise to hook it up with your Internet-connection and share it with all the other 'Foneros'. This will also mean that once you join the community and share yours, you get also the right to use other Foneros' WI-FI connections for free all over the world.

This sounds so cool, at least in theory. I share my WI-FI connection for anyone at range from my home anyway, no passwords, no nothing. Since I pay my montly fee and about 95% of all time I am not using it, and even if I am, then what? If you cannot afford your own internet connection (about 20 euros a month at the cheapest) then go ahead and use mine. I am cool with it.

I have had this idea for a long time, if everyone would share their WI-FI internet connections with everyone, the world would be a happy place, the global village would come true and all that hippy 'ish. But really, why not? Of course your and my ISP makes this forbidden in the contract they make you sign with them, they are only in it for the money for sure, but currently the Finnish Bureau for Consumer Protection states that this clause in the contract is an empty one. There is absolute no law against you sharing your internet with others.

But back to the La Fonera. I am excited, yet skeptical. Surely there must be 'a dog buried under it' as the old Finnish saying goes. I will keep you posted on what happens next.

"Special Offer for La Fonera for free (shipping cost and sales tax included)

This Special Offer is valid until 24-12-2006 date 24:00 hour and limited to 15.000 units and users that register or are already registered as Foneros. This Offer is limited to one router per user and shipping address. You will not be eligible for this Offer if you have previously purchased a subsidised La Fonera at www.fon.com.

Once FON has confirmation that you have registered as a member of our Community, we will send you the La Fonera for free (shipping costs and sales tax are included). Once you have received your La Fonera, your will be required to install the La Fonera and maintain it activated within the FON Community. If for any reason you are not able to do so, we ask that you kindly pass the La Fonera onto a friend who wants to share WiFi as a Fonero."

Wii will Wii will hurt you!

Yes it will. And that's why Nintendo is now worried about FAK's, their primary customer segment. Nintendo has the new Wii console out that is controlled by the Wii controller. The controller has a motion sensor kinda thing, that responds to real life movements (!) so that basically you could play tennis games by waving your hand or wrist. I haven't tried this, so this is what I guess the gadget does.

But here's the funny part: now there a a lot of reported incidents where these remotes have slipped from the greasy palms of some passionate wii-banging-kids causing serious damage to their environment. Check out the instructions before you go breaking your mommy's precious china or daddy's rare collection of german beer glasses in the heat of the game. I think all real computer nerds can say this aloud: Thou shall not mix real life with artificial life. Kids can't handle it.

Kriton Boys Come Around

As previously mentioned, The Chiton boys have been really busy lately. Busy making beats, busy sampling drums, busy learning to play sitar sounds through synths and busy just parenting in general. In the midst of this process they still had time to sit down and celebrate the forthcoming holiday season. So last weekend they locked themselves into the Alppilounge recording studios, packed the place with luxury snacks: Star shaped ginger bread, VSOP Cognac, hot juice, ever trendy Vodka and tasty liquers + some other stuff too (Thanks for this goes to Marky Mark – not the funky bunch. Dude, we loves U). Besides the obvious obesity and fratboy party shout outs they managed to work all night and complete their latest remix. This time they had to go from India to the West Indies to get the tasty elements they needed.

So here it is, Collie Buddz’s Come Around remixed by the Boyz Take a bite and pass it on the left hand side.

Drugs are bad, mmmmkay?

Ok, this is another videoflick that I'm posting here this week, but this material is hilarious. It's a vast source for Quasimoto kind of spoken samples.

Let's this be a warning to all you kids. Stay away from drugs of all kind. Drugs are baaaaad, mmmmmkay?

Emo kids gone friggin' cuckoo and dancing to embrace their insanity and appearing pretty goofy while doing it and therefore not proving their point

I hope my own offspring will not end up like these brats. It's a weird phenomenon, try searching for "knuck if you buck" on Youtube. OMG.

Hindustani dubstep, I presume?

After last night’s recording session I became obsessed with playing sitar.I have tried a large variety of string instruments from cellos to 12 string acoustics and from banjos to bloody balalaicas. But sitars I haven’t layed my hands on yet, dayammn! I should get one from e-bay, I guess. Those babies rrrr hott!

So yesterday we once again experimented with old synths, digging out weird sounds. We were really hyped once we found a sound titled "Cryton", but it was a biiiig disappointment, no hotness was found there. But a feeling of great expectations soon arrived trumpeting the joy of life as we found the sitar sound. So we cranked the amps up and tried to to emulate the vibes from Alppila’s wicked Bollywood type-o-samples on his MPC. Nothing too original here I guess to begin with, but try to imagine this mixed with

- 1.5 litres of new reggae accapellas about sensi
- a large bowl of unwashed and dirty grimey subsynths
- 3 spoonfuls of Justin Timberlake kinda synth arpeggios
- 2 teaspoons of live electric bass
- Finely chopped themes from classic Indie rock songs
- 3 medium pieces of strongly echoed ItaloWestern-like guitars
- Mad echoes and dub delays to your taste

And you will once again get the point of being a Kriton. It is an organization of madness. But it’s all good, aint’t it?

And to make this blog accurate, Jzzi could point out the make and the model of the synth we used. Fi dem nerds out dere.

/ہندوستانی

A Guy Called ?uest

Last saturday I had the pleasure of meeting Ahmir "?uestlove" Thompson from The Roots, when he stopped by in Helsinki to play a dj gig.

I know ?uest is a huge friggin icon for many of you jazzy hippie nu-soul type cats (the type of people who actually might use the term "cat" when referring to a male). And although The Roots is not always exactly my cup of tea (still, the new album is mad NICE!) still I must admit that ?uest is an incredibly talented and prolific musician and producer. All that blah blah yada yada, we all know that stuff. Musically, the man is near genius.

But the big news here is... This dude was one of the friendliest, nicest, sincerest and most outspoken people ive met in the music bizness. No ego trippin, no putting other artists down, no ass-kissin, no dissing, no pre-written biography answers type bullcrap. The guy was actually making conversation

People say that his dj gig wasn't maybe the hottest thing since sliced pizza (i didn't go since it was too late, too Kallio and i was too beat). But even if it had been crazy wicked, i wouldn't even regret not going. The interview was just enough for me. ?uest confivinced me that musos can be decent humans too. Which sometimes seems to escape me.

And also: he was one of the biggest dudes I've seen in all my life. I mean XXXXXL-large.

For the Love of Sneakers. Price 1800 U.S. Dollars

Hi, my name is jzZi and I am an Ebay-a-holic. But whatever, but there is so much cool stuff there.

Hennessy was blogging here about sneakers some time ago and yeah, I love ‘em too. I have scored more than my share of sneakers from eBay but just look at this Ebay-deal: apparently some people love & cherish rubbery kicks more than others.

The auction ended last weekend but lord, 1800 dollars sure is a lot of money to pay for a cardboard boxful of nostalgia from 1985. Especially when the same seller is auctioning a pair of similar original Air Jordan One's, currently for only USD 11.50.

It's a dirty Yob, but someone's gotta do it.

Being a young person in the windy island of the Britons must be hard nowadays. First they banned you from football games if you had a registered history of rioting in these matches. You wuz surely a dangerous hooligan. Then they didn’t let you in certain pubs/bars/clubs if you happened to wear a Burberry cap. You wuz a friggin Chav. Now they have you under heavy surveillance if you wear a hoodie, you must be a goddamn Yob!. And being a Yob, means that you are most definitely suffering from ASBO, you little rascal!

We’ve come a long way from the 90’s lad culture, which was amusing, but pretty positive in most aspects. A bit of degrading of women, some overuse of alcohol and some stupid behaviour, that’s all.

But are these chavs and yobs really such a danger to average tea-and-biscuit-posse , or is this just a new fad of the media in the UK. You should check out Macintyre’s Big Sting. and make up your own mind…

What's wrong with this picture

Posing is an artform. And people are divided into three types when it comes to posing. First there are those who can pose and those who can’t. And then there are people who can’t but who have talented people helping them to look cool anyway.

Glam Rock is all about posing, and nowadays a lot of northern kids wanna play in some sort of glam band. This is a problem when they can’t pose and don’t have the right people who could make them look cool still. Let’s take a a look at this pic above. And I must say I have nothing against this band (the name of the group shall remain unmentioned), it’s the record company who should have paid a bit more attention and a few more euros on the stylist/AD.

Let’s start from the left. This guy’s pretty ok, he’s got the ripped clothing, a Lolita-like chewing gum and all. And he’s a bit like Nikki Sixx. Or maybe Awa from Lordi. Or one of the younger sisters of Tik Tak. I guess all teen girls and sugar daddys wanna take him home and rub him the right way.

But the trouble begins with the singer (the upfront guy must be the singer,’cos he’s… well.. upfront, like singers usually like to be situated). His only desire is to be like Sid Vicious, but the innocence from his face just deletes all viciousness from 15 meters around him. And the body posture… That’s a classic “I farted/I have crapped my pants”-pose. And it seems that there is a pile of something beneath him already.

And my favourite couple are these ”playas” on the right. First of all the hat-guy propably goes running back to the university to study more mathematics once he sees this picture with him wearing make-up for the first and last time. And he should give that hat back to his professor on the way.

The guy on the right either has a wig or then all that hair has been photoshopped afterwards, I can’t tell. Quite confusing indeed. And the guy with the hat actually seems to be holding this guys' balls. What’s up with that? Can’t hold your own balls? All I have in this world is my balls and my buddy’s balls an my word???

A few more hours in front of the mirror, a few more evenings watching Hanoi Rocks videos and a professional stylist. That’s all it takes kids. Honestly.

Snowed in, rollin' on 22’s

Today it finally came here, the illest time of the year. For people with cars this means that you have to put chrome rims to the basement and replace them with something more suitable for winter conditions.

Good news for wealthy Scandinavians is that Nokian has finally a new winter tire that fits even 22 inch rims. The new Hakkapeliitta 5 SUV’s are a necessity if your want to take your Hummer out for a ride to hunt for reindeer or such.

But if you listen to rap lyrics, 22’s are nowadays nothing to brag with, real players go for 24's or 26’s or like the realest n****s would roll with 28’s.


You see me rollin'...

Turbonegro, dead whales, Kurt Cobain’s money and Gen X’s victory over the Baby-Boomers

Since I am still enjoying the rock’n’roll vibes, I want to share this great picture with all of you.

It’s of course the only real thing that Norvegians should be proud of, especially since they are currently only the country in the world (with Japan, of course) that allows the practice commercial whaling, which should be harshly condemned because is brutal and completely useless.

Anyway, the picture above is Turbonegro playing live at Ankkarock in Helsinki in August, and this is the gig after which they weren’t even able to drink all their beer as reported earlier in our blog. Aren’t they the greatest rock’n’roll band in the world? Probably. If you go there and scroll down the page a bit, there are more great Turbonegro live pics from the same gig.

Still in keeping with the rock’n’roll theme, I just read that according to Forbes’ magazines listing, Kurt Cobain was the dead rock star making most money in the world last year. Kurt, or isn't it actually Courtney and Frances Bean, earned about 50 million dollars while The King himself only made 42 million dollars.

Let’s take this as a clear indication that the baby-boomer generation with all their money are finally losing the battle and that Grunge will never die!