Bears, beards and flannel shirts

I know that flannel shirts have made a comeback, which is ok I guess. They remind me of Snoop Dogg, Kurt Cobain and all the good things from early 90's. But is the whole lumberjack style coming back ever? I hope not, although it looks kinda cool on these two big bears. Kinda Brokeback Mountainish, but... What's up with these suspenders? - They make these dudes a bit skinheadish as well... And that's a scary combination.

Where We From?

Shiiieeeet! The Digable Planets were probably one of the most underrated hip hop acts of their time. So far ahead in the future. Kool like dat. 

Big Foot Digs MTB Girlies...

I dunno if you're aware of this but all of us Kriton boys are quite avid cyclists. Even if I personally tend to keep riding my fixie bike only in city, this image really struck a chord for me somehow.... scary! But what's up with the those shoes?

And notice also the resemblance between the Big Foot and legendary Leland Sklar. 

Touch it baby!

This seems kinda cool: The Intua Beat Maker.

I've been waiting to see some really cool apps for the iPhone / iPod touch and this looks like a pretty flashy thingy. If someone tries it, please let me know if it's any good.

Besides this I haven't really seen any really far out apps using the touch screen in innovative ways. I guess there might be soon coming out some porn apps that could have some features of that sort..

But back to music making: I've been trying the BeatEd with my Nokia phone and it pretty much fun as well. I've made some 808 beats with it that really help you getting through long flights. I guess I've joined the mile high club of beat making? However I haven't figured out how to get the beats out of the phone as files that I could convert into mp3's or AIFF's. I guess the analogue output on the phone is kinda crappy, so I might get some white noise as bonus.

Air Guitar Heroes Wanted

Now it's time to show your moves and win an autographed Mick Jones Les Paul Custom Gibson guitar. Just send a clip of yourself rocking out and playing air guitar to Foreigner here.

Rock out with your c**k out!

Not over 'til the bearded dude plays the bassline

Here's that Billy Cobham joint that Leland Sklar kills with his bassline. Also known as "Safe From Harm" by Massive Attack (see Jussi's recent post about the bearded genius)

Note that the track is long as Sklar's beard itself (actually 9:49), so the part that you really wanna hear starts at 3 minutes. And the Massive Attack sampled bit comes somewhere between that and eternity.

Billy Cobham: Stratus (mp3, zshare)

Do Beards Poop In The Woods?

Respect To Leland "Father Time" Sklar

The post about Toto breaking up (thank god!) caused some debate concerning the Santa Claus -looking person in the line-up picture, someone going as far as even calling him a "Farao". 

Anyhow, our always very knowledgeable Fiil Inc. educated about the dude, Leland Sklar, and as I checked out his Wiki-page, I realized that not only had he played bass with almost everyone including even Laura Branigan, and besides looking like the coolest uncle you never had, hey! he actually played bass on Billy Cobham's legendary Spectrum -album, meaning that consequently he played THAT BASSLINE on the track Stratus. I was like, whoah, dude!

Yes, the breakbeat/bassline Massive Attack sampled on the Blue Lines -album track 'Safe From Harm', before everyone else did too. Probably the best bass/drum groove ever recorded. 

Japanther Rules!

Every once in a while you just need to find a new exciting band, you know? 

And just today I did and they're called Japanther. Obviously they're by no means a new band but whatever. When I came across the video above that was it, it starts a bit slow but the when the band and the audience get going, you just want to be there. 'least I do. Seeing a band live needs to be just like that. 

'We're Japanther from New York, I hope yo'all like it!'

Damn! 

Japanese Hard Gay / レイザーラモン

Japanese people are strange, yet often very funny people. 

Consequently Japanese TV is even funnier. Check out the video above if you didn't already, it the "best of" of Razor Ramon Hard Gay (レイザーラモン). He's apparently pretty damn popular over there. 

Will it blend: Nike Air Max

You might have seen these "Will It Blend" -videos, where a guy uses a Blendtec-blender to break various stuff from Iphones to golf balls and glow sticks. Yeah, I know, it was originally a marketing stunt made by the company and they've actually got their sales up by these viral videos.

However this one must be done with the Nike marketing guys, but who cares. it's always cool to see things get broken, and I've never even thought of shredding a sneaker...

Tallinn Junkie Goes Wild! Raving w/ Ass-slapping Routine!

The capital city of our southern neighbor Estonia, Tallinn, is a very very beautiful town but it also still has some pretty rough Soviet-era pre-fabricated housing estates with some serious social problems. Lasnamäe and Mustamäe being two of these. 

Well, check out the videos above and see a Lasnamäe local getting it on. I'd say after enjoyinga pretty health dose some amphetamines. In fact it's a well known fact how back in the Soviet times many east European countries, especially Poland, produced lots of really strong amphetamines and other similar chemicals, sometimes know as 'Polish Soup'. 

And below here's the freestyle version of the same guy, this time with some music, ie. even better. The dude knows how to 'move his body'. 

Toto breaks up

And we're all sad. I haven't seen them live these past years, so I can't say if they still rocked, but their legacy still rocks.

Read more

Toto's website
Steve Lukather.net

Or just feel this

Africa vid

New York City Cops They Ain't Too Smart

This vid has been going around a lot, but I guess we outta show it too. It's a short clip that shows what happened on Times Square in NYC a on 25th of July during a Critical Mass. Jeez 'em cops weird.

Montauk Monster

It's been a hot summer (at least in some parts) and here's something that fits right in with the heat: the Montauk Monster.

As it seems, a guy has taken a pic of a true sea monster, whooah. Is it fake or not, who knows, but it's really x-files stuff, Mulderesque & Scullylike.

NY Magazine gets deeper into the story here, including a quote from an eyewitness, 22-year old Michael Meehan:

"I saw the monster. I just came walking down the beach and everyone was looking at it. No one knew what it was. It kind of looked like a dog, but it had this crazy-looking beak. I mean, I would freak out if something like that popped up next to me in the water."

Read the story from here or here The pic is actually pretty freaky...

Harry just got Kritonized

Sometimes you just can't help it. Like today when we had to pimp this huge Harry Potter figure that was made out of Legos. It just screamed for a nice post-USSR-like moustache and a bulky spliff - hey, it's actually Hairy Potter...

And kids - don't try this at home. After this experiment we modified poor Harryboy back to his normal semi WICCA-look. But I guess Harry kinda liked this toking thang. I've always suspected that he must cook some nice shrooms in his kettle.

I'm the biggest boss that you've seen thus far

I'm finally convinced that Rick AKA Ricky Ross is the biggest boss that I've seen thus far. After he took his shirt off during his set at Nosturi last sunday, there was no question who was da bo$$ of the hip hop game 2008. I mean the dreadlocked sidekick was all pumped up, tattooed and cool in every aspect, but Rick put him deep into shadow, both in looks and style.

The whole set was pretty daymn good, from my new favourite "Speeding" to the obvious hustling anthem "Hustlin" (!). And to top it all he also performed "Cross that line" that is by far the best cheesy anthem there is. Not that many rappers actually sound that big on stage.

Top Billin Dudes taking Canada by Force

Check out our doods Top Billin making s**t happen in Canada, on tour with M.I.A. You know the deal... this is very impressive stuff! BTW new Top Billin/New Judas split 12" out now AND the brand new Top Billin Ep "Sexy Time" out SOON. Suomi nousuun, perkele!

All The Girls Standing In Line...

Like Jzzi pointed out earlier today, the first good song from N.E.R.D. in a long time. I especially luuh the way this song starts - str8 2 bizniz, not beating around the bush.

Pork And Beans

Weezer showing of their knowledge of the Web 2.0 Viral phenomenon. You can spot quite a few "viral videos" within this "viral video". Talk about intertextuality!

More Black People In Very Tight Jeans

Our posts here and here about black dudes in tight jeans have stirred up some debate, which is always very welcome here. For example, Anton pointed us to the magnificent video above, it pretty much says everything necessary about this every sensitive issue. 

Norlan "El Misionario" in da Sauna Caliente

In the header box above we promised we would bring you some vibes from the Helsinki underground, right?

Well, here's the real deal right now. Norlan AKA El Misinario, who's originally from Cuba but a long-time Helsinki resident, lets us sample the flavor of the reaggaeton from Helsinki, combined the the Finnish sauna.

Muy Caliente, si!

You'll find it in da club

I love Santogold and I respect Fitty. I also have a nasty habbit of making dumbass blends while I have some extra time. And a few nights ago I had a too much time on my hands, so here's the outcome. Pure, idiotic, simple and designed to make the club go crazy after 3 AM. Especially if the club's filled with beer bong-loving college studs / martini sipping cheerleaders. Love it or hate it here folks, it's fresh from the bakery:

HennyMan: You'll Find It In Da Club.mp

Greetings from Rev. Bill Huffman

As we told last week, we've been approached with increasingly annoying and/or hilarious contact attempts here at the Kriton HQ. 

Here's another one which appeared in our inbox this morning:

"Hello.I start with much Greetings to you and your whole company.Please accept my apology if i have reached a wrong contact, my name is rev.  bill huffman.I will like to know if you have
flyer can you get me size
8 1/2" by 11"  '' in full copies Black Ink onYellow Paper i  need  total cost of 100,000 pieces of the flyers  l want you to write of the flyer (John 3:16:For God So Loved The World That He Gave His Begotten Son,Whosoever Believes In Him,Should Not Perish,But Have Everlasting Life). and also i need this flyers to be printed double sided and also I want you to go ahead and quote me the total pick up prices plus tax without shipping and also Advise me the method of of payment you accept so that we can proceed with this order, hope to hear from you as soon as possible.
best regards
 
rev. bill huffman"

You can spam Bill back all you want on this email:

bill_huffman20@yahoo.com

bill_huffman20@yahoo.com
bill_huffman20@yahoo.com
bill_huffman20@yahoo.com
bill_huffman20@yahoo.com

Now, what's more interesting about Rev. Bill than his stupid flyer offer is the fact that he indeed seems to be the very same man, who has had an important role in trying to bring out to light information about UFOs and secret government documents about them in 1940s:

"The First Roswell by Ryan Wood of www.majesticdocuments.com tells of an interview with Charlette Mann and references two signed affidavits that support Ms. Mann's recollections about a UFO crash in rural SEMO (southeast Missouri). Based on Ms. Mann's letter to UFO researcher Leonard Stringfield (link to copy of letter), the abstract indicates Ms. Mann's grandfather -- Reverend William Huffman -- was a Cape Girardeau Baptist minister. On a spring Cape Girardeau evening in 1941, the Reverend received a call for assistance. Upon arrival to the crash site outside of Cape Girardeau, the Reverend found something extraordinary happened. Reverend Huffman indicated the local military personnel on site swore all to secrecy because the object was of unknown origin. It was, according to the respected Baptist Reverend, a downed space ship -- an alleged UFO. Some researchers speculate Chicago received the UFO wreckage and Manhattan Project scientists, like Einstein, worked on backward engineering of the craft. The abstract suggests the UFO retrieval personnel would have been the 309 of the Sikeston Missouri Institute of Aeronautics . A time and place consistant with genealogical research."

So the actual story goes like this:

"East Texans Shares "Family Secret" Of UFO Sighting

2-25-08
"I was not a big UFO person, didn't know much about it other than my own experience." Sitting in her Tyler, Texas home, Charlotte man tells us about her experience, which she calls the "family secret," many of the details discovered on her grandparents deathbeds.

It was April, 1941 in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Around 9:30 p.m., Charlotte's grandfather, Reverend William Huffman, got a call about a plane crash and was asked to help. "When they got out there, it wasn't a plane crash at all. It was a saucer, was how he described it," says Charlotte.

According to the story, 3 alien bodies lie on the ground next to the spaceship; two already dead. "However, granddad said the third one when he got to him, he was breathing very shallow and so he did pray with him. He did expire as he was on his knees praying for him. He then went to the other two and prayed over them."

Charlotte's grandfather then took a closer look at the spaceship. "What he was most impressed with was in the inside there were writings, but he did not recognize it. He said it looked similar to hieroglyphics. The Egyptian hieroglyphics," explains Charlotte.

Quickly, the scene was covered with military personnel and Reverend Huffman was sworn to secrecy. Charlotte says, "He was told, 'This did not happen. You did not see this. This is enormous national security. You're not to ever speak of it again.'"

But the enormity of what he had witnessed was too much for a man. The shock on his face told what his words, at first, did not. Then after gaining their promise, he shared with his family what had happened. "Granddad was a quiet man to begin with but grandmother said the look on his face was different," says Charlotte.

A few weeks after the UFO crash, Reverend Huffman was given a picture taken that night by a local photographer. "He felt like someone else besides himself should have a copy and granddad was the only one he trusted. So he gave him a copy of the picture. So I had seen that picture all growing up." Charlotte goes on to say, "You couldn't see those big eyes and not be affected. It wasn't anything I had ever seen."

That picture went missing years ago after her grandfather loaned it to a friend, who never returned it. But seeing that picture and knowing the integrity of her grandfather, Charlotte believes the story is true. But, she never had any proof until a few years ago while doing research for a documentary on the crash.

"We got validation by going to the archives in Washington D.C. And to see a top secret declassified document that stated that there was in fact a crash retrieval in 1941 in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, for me, I have not forgotten holding that paper in my hand and realizing that my families story was real, was solid, and for me was just an answer to a long time question."

It continues, read more here... 

Pimpin' like my daddy

For all you non-finnish readers, let me tell you something: the summer's really early this year in here (okay, now i might've jinxed it and tomorrow it probably snows...). It's sunny and almost 20 degrees on the celsius scale. That calls for some sort of a celebration, and i'm not talking bout Mayday (Vappu) tomorrow. No way, Jorge, that shit is for beginners. The hardcore partying starts only after Mayday.

If you survive until saturday (May 3rd) and you're in Helsinki, be sure to come over to the club Big Pimpin at We Got Beef. Kriton's very own Alppila aka Fiil Inc aka myself spins rap/soul/rnb/aor/electronic/other with resident deejay Henrikki (remember this mix?). Who knows, i might even put on a Kriton remix or two.

2.5 grand don't come for free

The funniest email EVER popped into the Kriton mailbox today. Check this out!

****************

Hello,

We acquired the domain Kriton.com recently. It is now available at
the price of EUR 2500.

If you are interested in it, please let us know before 6:00 pm,
Friday, Apr 18, 2008 CET. After that, this domain may not be available
anymore.

About the transition:
The transition of domain and payment can be finished through a trusted
third-party escrow service like sedo.com, afternic.com, etc, so you
don't have to worry about the trust problems. If you don't get the
domain, we will not get paid.

NOTE: If the name is bought by other company or person, it may never
be available again.


Best regards,
Xxx Xxxxx

****************
Are you fuckin serious????!!!!
Why would we pay 2.5 grand for a fuckin domain???
What the hell do you think we are, the Roc-A-Fella Billionaires???!!

Death, sex and religion respectively

Last year we reported of (a bit too) many deaths of rock/rapstars. Like Pimp C for instance. It's amazing that Pimp C was as a pretty unknown artist to the great public, but at the same time his passing away was something that many people wanted seek information on. It just got my hands on a statistic that revealed the top search terms of Google on December 4th 2007. And the list is:

1. pimp c
2. lafave
3. pimp c found dead
4. ugk
5. debra lafave
6. eat pray love
7. hannukah prayers
8. lafave arrested again
9. chad butler
10. the family international

But more interestingly this once again reveals what interests people:

- death (pimp's death) 4/10
- sex (debra lafave's a teacher who messed with young boys) 3/10
- religion (guess it was hannukah time for some folks) 3/10

Really. I mean really. I mean REALLY.

(AND.... I have no real point for the picture above, I'm not michael moore yuh know. It just whaty Google showed me for search terms "death sex religion")

Tektonik. Yes, now go ahead and learn it.

How do you know you're getting old and that you're not that hip into the latest trends and cool stuff anymore? It's when you don't know what's the latest dance craze anymore.

Us, the Kriton boys are obviously not that young anymore but thank God our favorite Italian in Helsinki, Giac is keeping it real-er than us by pointing us to this thing here -> TEKTONIK. Grazie! 

This is also very fitting with the fact that our latest musical productions are all straight up dancefloor stuff. 4 to the floor, baby!

So, there was Breakdance, that mad Gabber-dancing, Krump, Chicken Noodle Soup, and now this, TEKTONIK. Obviously you need to be really young and French with a mullet and super-skinny girls jeans in order to do it, mind you.

Wireless Fantasy

Or something like that has now come true. Apple has this new thingie called Time Capsule" which is basically a hard drive thats connected to your mac via wi-fi. So no more cords and boxes around the room, just stick this under your bed or in the closet and with Time Machine you have automatic back up all the time. A simple thing, but something I've been waiting for a couple of years. Yeah, you could have built such a system by yourself, but once again Apple makes it easy. And for the price... It ain't cheap, but then again not too expensive in my taste either. >

Critically massive in SF

I'll be spending two weeks at the end of this month in San Francisco (yeah, not "Frisco" as you should know). I'm quite hyped about the trip because it's the spot where mountain biking was born (Marin County big up), and the bay area has always been interesting musically from the dreadful hippie times to the trash metal (Death Angel big up) scene, berkeley punkxx (Green Day big up)and modern hyphy movement (E-40 big up) and of course it's the the home town of our cool buddy, Buddy Leezle. And not to forget that Journey was a local group as well, and they also dedicated the song "Lights" to the foggy city.

And I also realized that I'll be there on the last friday of April. You know whut that means? I'll try to attend or at least witness the Critical Mass in the very spot where it all started. Yeah, that means lots of cyclists and cycle-enthusiasists will once again be reclaiming the streets. Well, I'm not sure if that all so positive, because it gets really violent sometimes, like when annoyed car drivers start attacking the cyclists, who strike back with their u-locks and such.But it's for a good cause. Like Jzzi just said before, we're all treehuggers here.

THIS IS A HOLD-UP! NOBODY MOVE, NOBODY GETS HURT!!! And eco-friendly stick-up old man hits...

Whoa, how about this? The old dude above in the pic robbed a kiosk in Arabianranta district in Helsinki yesterday evening on sawed-off shotgun point.

The police have not yet managed to recognize him, let alone catch him. Apparently he scored a couple of hundred Euros and ran away, just like that. 

Like Melle Mel said, 'It's like jungle some times...' and hey, this is pretty close to where I live and where I go taking my sunday walks with my family and riding my bike and so on. There are also a bunch of our friends living in and around the 'hood there. Pretty scary, eh?

Anyhow, if you see or recognize him, give the cops a Holla! on either of these numbers: 09-1895464 or 09-1894002.

I know we've said some nasty things about our Helsinki cops here on our blog before so I feel that we need to make up for that by trying to help them a bit here.

Also, I need to point out that when I go shopping for groceries to feed my hungry family, I rock the exact same type of environmentally conscious canvas shopping bag, instead of a plastic bag. I'm an environmentally conscious type of person after all, just like the robber seems to be. For this reason I give him one point for the eco-factor.

I'm also tempted to give him another style point for the fact that he had an old school sawed-off shotgun, which is IMHO the second most credible gun to be used for criminal activities in the urban jungle, after the legendary Uzi. But since we all are really against any kind of violence and firearms here in the Kriton Hippy Treehugger Camp, he gets no points for that. Sorry, dude.

EDIT: The police have now recognized and caught the robber. According to the news, he hasn't yet admitted that he did, though. Anyhow, the streets are safer around here again.

Kritonic Updates

Ok, it's time get back 2 the basics. At Kriton Music we spend our time blogging about bicycle parts and all sorts of other weirdness. And sometimes forget to post the most obvious stuff in here - new Kriton tracks of course.

So heres a quick update - two new tracks form the Kriton factory!

The new Kriton High School Banger "Do The Damn Thang" is all about the techno and "Ghetto Feet" is yours truly taking a dip into the Juke pool with Dude N Nem's massive hit. Enjoy these babies!

Do The Damn Thang (320 kbs, zshare link)

Ghetto Feet (320 kbs, zshare link)

New Boris Video & Gig In Helsinki !!!

Above is the lovely Orange video of my personal favorite Japanese band Boris' new single "Statement". It rocks. The new album, 'Smile', should be out soon on mighty the Southern Lord label too.

But what's even better, there's a rumor currently going around that they might play in Tavastia Club here in Helsinki 2nd of May. How cool would that be?

UPDATE! 

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!

The rumor was true, it's happening, May 2nd at Tavastia, tickets are for sale now for meagre 12€ each. Go get 'em.

Konichiwa, bitches!!!

More BMXes & Skinny Jeans

Enjoy the video above. It's straight continuation on the my previous post here.

More BMX'es, skinny jeans, crazy skillz, excellent music and super smooth cinematography.
In Paris.

All you need really. No mag wheels this time, though.

She wants to lead the Glamorous Life

We havent posted so many dj-mixes here in the Kriton Blog so far, unless they've been our own or something like that. But now is a good chance to change that. Since a good buddy of ours, DJ Henrikki made a new hot mix (and he doesn't make new tapes just every day) - The Glamorous Life.

Now Henrikki, responible for the one of the nicest rap clubs in Helsinki, Big Pimpin, is best known for his skills in hiphop stuff. But this time he's decided to show how versatile he can be, by mixing together a whole lot of 80's synth classics, house, electronic and other things that you wouldnt expect (see the track list above!). And the title is obviously taken from the immortal 80's gem by Sheila E.

Dowload the mix here (zshare)

And oh yeah, the covers of course made by yours truly

The Recreational Drug of Choice in Helsinki: Khat ???

If you look at the title box of of this blog up above, we promise to bring you news from the HKI underground. Well, here's something you should be hip to right about now:

Apparently Khat, the mildly amphetamite-like stimulant, has finally landed up here up in the north, as introduced and used mainly by part of the local Somali-community. The proof of this is the fact even the Finnish cops and the customs officers are now hip to this new threat to our society and, quite surprisingly they've even actually managed to catch some smugglers. 

Someone, who was busted, got 3 years and 6 months jail-time after admitting having organized smuggling of some 4200 kgs (or probably way more than that) into Finland ... from UK, where Khat is not even illegal, actually. 

Well done boys, you've earned your meagre salaries. Now go home and drink that friday bottle of vodka and feel good about yourself, you've succeeded in getting some of them DEADLY DRUGZ of the streets. World is better and safer place again. 

No, but seriously now: 

if the common knowledge is that the Police and Customs (and they admit this themselves!) manage to confiscate approximately only less that 10% of all illegal drugs smuggled into the country, what does this mean? 

Then last year at very least 40 000 kilos of Khat was consumed in Finland. Hmmmm....

Cool Kids: Black Mags - black dudes in skinny jeans & bmxes'

Here we go, another thing combining stuff we love; bikes, hip hop and radical social commentary on the state of the world in which we live in (by focusing on current male fashion trends).

Go ahead and check out the notorious clip Henny's last post was talking about.

You will see, for the first time since 1980s, a black dude rapping AND wearing skinny jeans. That's the sign of the times for you. Such a bold fashion statement. And I do like the upside down visor hat too.

"Dyno with the Black Mags..."

Coming up in the second part, sometime next week;

 'What is he talking about? What Dyno? Black Mags...?'

Cooking with Barbie & The Elves.

This picture needs no explanation. 

Is it ok to wear tight jeans?...Ask the doctor

I used to luv Dr Jay's while visiting Fulton Street in Brooklyn. The only problem for me usually was that the sizes were reeeeaaally big, I mean 5XL was the standard. But this is no more a problem, 'cos u can order via their website and they deliver to Finland as well and they seem to have smaller sizes there as well (maybe for the skinny north europeans and super skinny east-europeans?)

But I found out Dr Jay's Blogon the site and I was surprized. I mean there was a time when NYC stood for baggy jeans, but is that so anymore? Is it really ok for guys to wear tight jeans?

Whatever happened to Turntablism?

Once upon a time (in 1990s if I remember correctly) there used to be this really really really trendy thing called 'Turntablism'.

Scratch DJs, or better yet 'Turntablists', used to be heroes of teenage kids dreaming about getting Technics SL1200s for Xmas looked up to. But somehow everyone seems to have collectively forgotten about that, or is everyone maybe just in denial? Also, the market value of (often trashed to death) turntables sees to have dropped near zero.  

Well, who cares because the video clip posted above proves that like Japan's DJ Tucker, you can still use the words 'interesting' and 'scratch DJ' it the same sentence, if you have an organ, that is. That's called evolution, I guess. 

Or:

Is that just an illustrative example showing how stupid it is when the turntablists claim that they are 'playing their decks like instruments'? I mean, obviously the sounds that come out of the organ as Dj Tucker rocks it are not the most musical ones in the conventional sense of the word. So if that's what scratching is when transferred to a real instrument, then, like even a half paralyzed deaf & mute one-handed person could probably do that, right? 

So maybe better keep scratching 'em vinyls instead, mmmkay? 

I dig Obama too, but this is cheesy

You all know Obama Grrrrl's "crush on obama" -video, which was cool, catchy and reminded me a lot of a certain T-Pain song. But this time Will.I.Am. goes and puts out his own tribute to Mr. Barack. I ain't dissing Will here, but c'mon.... he's got Common and John Legend there to back him up, but the song is soooooo cheeessyyyyyyy...

The Chavy Boys Of Burb-more?

well, actually theyre called Chavy Boys Of London, better yet.

Famed Bmore producers' Scottie B, King Tutt and Shawn Caesar's "bmore supergroup" may have redonkalous name, but their music sounds hella dope. New EP out on Money Lotion (TTL) and here's "Zoey Jawn"

and BTW, that name has some real-life base as well, since Scottie B explained that he made all the basic tracks to these joints while staying in London...

The Best Blend, like evah, dude!

Everyone knows blends (or mashups, or just remixes, like they actually used to be called - before all the American hiphop DJs knew about you could even do this... yes you might be denial but 'tis da truth) are the hot shit right now and therefore everyone with a computer is now making them. And as a consequence about 99.7% of them tend to be just pure shite.

So, while that "Riding Fixy" in the post below made me cry, seeing & hearing this one above made me laugh. Hard and long. It's so good.

It's also upping the game a huge step. Seriously. I mean, no mismatched vocals on a wrong key and a skipping beat loop but rather they've had Glen Danzig (or someone) actually singing on it. 

"Yea, that's right! One foot, motherfucker!"

Ok, here we go. I got it right here, behind a link to MySpace. A almost too perfect combination of all the stuff our blog has been made of lately, hip hop blends and fixed gear bikes.

It's really really really mind boggling. Or just plain ridiculous.

Check out MC Rush Hour: Ridin' Fixy, it's on his player right now.

And be ready to sing, you know the tune. All together now:

"They see my chainring / They hatin' / No-handed trackstanding

Trying to catch me ridin' fixy / Trying to catch me ridin' fixy 

Won't see me coastin' / or brakin'

Trying to catch me ridin' fixy / Trying to catch me ridin' fixy "

I'm sure his gold anodized Sugino 75 track chainring is really bling but a 'Fixy' ?!

EDIT. 

Now here's the lyric in full for yo'all:

"They see my chainring
They hating
Trackstandin':
they know that I be ridin' fixy
Try to catch me ridin' fixy ...

Won't see me coastin'
or brakin'
you trippin' if you think I'll quit ridin' fixy
Try to catch me ridin' fixy ...

Y'all fools gonna make me do it
Trackstand at the light in front of your Buick
Mothafuckas wanna run me off the road
I'll grab my lock, take a swing and make your window explode
You might see me out ridin' with my club
We roll about 20 then we hit the pub
Chillin' out drinkin' beers til we can't see straight
Hit the streets with a lean why you suckas gotta hate
'Cuz you know we crazy like lunatics
We got no brakes but we still do skids
Got them bitches in lycra throwin' fits
Doing tricks in the park like a bunch of kids
Circle backwards: you can't hang with this
No-handed skid, now you gettin' pissed
Gotta fat chrome bag hangin' on my back
with some spare intertubes and a cold six pack
Alleycat race, now I'm ridin' fast
You freewheel hoes gonna finish last
Comin' up on your left, now I'm gonna pass
Won't see me coastin' or draggin' ass
Brooks on my jock be fittin' tight
40 oz in my left, bullhorns in my right
Cuttin' through traffic, got the haters cussin'
Rollin' past the fuckin' po-po like it's nothin'.

Chorus

We been critical massin'
Blockin' the street so your car ain't passin'
Now I'm shitfaced off the 2-for-1s
Drinkin' double long islands means double the fun
Now we back on the street and we bringin' the game
Titanium wheels on my steel frame
48 up front, 15 in the back
Gotta tackle this hill
Won't be cuttin' no slack
Now I'm comin' back down,
leg over the bars.
Skiddin' long, one hand flippin' off the cars
Skid patch smokin' like a big ol' blunt
Gotta shift my weight to get more up front
Pop my foot back into the clip
and I gotta put my hand back down on the grip
Nitto bars be shinin' like a gem
Chrome seatpost with matchin' stem
*with no regard for your cars we dodge em like fuck 'em all*
Don't push us too far...
step out your car, and we'll have a brawl
We gotta right to ride
So step aside
Unless you want my SPDs applied
To your doors, your fenders and then your grille
Fuck with my fixy and you'll get killed..."

More new stuff for 2008: Hoescast

Here's the latest from Hennyman, and I must say this is one of the sickest remixes/blends for a long time. Can't decide whut to call this kinda stuff- maybe it could be described as a long journey where partybreaks meets westcoast rappers and nordic AOR-kids and then gets daft punked and madly chopped and finally falls in love with the king of New York. I dunno.

But we will give away some special Kriton material to the first person who identifies the main sample used. I'll give you a hint: It ain't Michael Mac Donald or Toto this time.

Well download it here or listen to it via KritonSpace.

Justin <3 Britney

Ok folks, here it is. Come 'n git it.

A-side: It's Britney, bitch!
B-side: Human Pyramid

Britney support group

It's been a while since the Kriton posse have released any new material, but that's gonna change soon. I've pretty soon finished mixing the new EP that's gonna be something different, as always. This time we've realized that 2008 is gonna be all about high BPM. I mean danceable stuff, 120-130 BPM is the new standard for now. Well at least for the 2 new songs that sample / remix both Justin T-lake and B. Spears. We do this to support Britney, who has got a lot of bad publicity lately. We think that Britney rocks and so does Justin.

We'll give you more info on the "Justin loves Britney" EP as we get it out.

In the meanwhile, hit the dancefloors!

And yeah, we know that 130 ain't that much yet, but we like speeding up things gradually.

The year 2007 in tech world

Now it's time to make lists about the year 2007, what was good and what was bad. My first list is short and quite tech.

The good stuff:

1) Facebook

There has been a lot of hype surrounding this and it feels boring to write about this, but I have to. Let's face it, it's the first web 2.0 service to gain masses here in Finland. It's got over 300.000 users in the Finland network, which means almost half a million finnish users altogether. This was the first online phenomenon that showed how "Tipping Point" really works. It has been cool to classify your friends by being either FB savvy innovators or second wave users and so on.

A lot of hype, a lot of publicity, a lot of stupid applications, but it really proved two things:

- one of the strongest needs of humans is the need for communication
- it's not about the service it's about the people.

More important is that FB has had a permanent effect on us and on how we use online services. FB may die next year, but it's legacy will live on in more restricted social networking applications.

And it's so lame to diss FB. Really. Even if you we're using it 6 months ago :O

2) iPhone

I have tried this only once, but what makes it cool is that big companies like Nokia have had to adjust to this cool thingy by bringing touch screens to their models and such. Apple just knows how to make cool looking toys that are nice to use.

I'll get one, once it's 3G, I promise.

The biggest disappoinments

1) Second Life

"The ultimate virtual life." SL is reported to have like 20 million accounts and many businesses (like IBM) and institutions (like Harvard) and even countries (like Sweden) have presence there. Many people are making a living by selling and designing virtual stuff for Linden dollars which hade made this "world" a real economy.

So what. I don't know anyone who uses SL actively, and I haven't heard of any real good business cases where SL have been used succesfully. A lot of hype, but what is the future of this world? I guess Facebook was the answer to many peeps need for social networking and all this "virtual 3D" stuff was just a lot of hype. I tried SL once and found the interface and user experience irritating. Well see what happens to SL in 2008.


2) Joost

Don't get me started with this one. A great marketing strategy, I'll give them credit for that. Last spring all nerds were fighting for those limited beta accounts (well, with over 1.000.000 users then, it wasn't really that "limited") and this caused an effective buzz. But now the service is open to public, and don't know anyone who really uses is actively. This might me because it's more of an innovative technological platform than a service with any interesting content. And my experience is that the service is still full of bugs (it collapsed today when I tried to use it first time since june...).

Kriton Sends Them Season's Greetings

See you in 2008, homies!

Spirit of the radio

This is gonna be an ad for a small mobile operator, but what the heck, I found this a cool way to market their services. For a few more months you can put 100.0 MHZ on your FM dial and listen to a station that plays almost just hip hop. It's called Spiidi Fm and it's a temporary radio station sponsored totally by this company GSM Suomi. There are no dj's or hosts whatsoever, it's just music all day long. I really dig it, although it is a bit painful to listen to these low budget ads every ten minutes or so, that are (obviusly) solely promoting this company.

I mean Bassoradio is great, but this Spiidi Fm is like all hip hop from what I've tried it. You got some cool dirty south tunes mixed with some R Kelly and stuff - who else plays this kinda stuff here?

So big up for those guys who made this - I may not be subscribing to this particular mobile service in the near future, but at least they bring some joy to my life. That's a lot to say for a mobile operator, who usually concentrate on pushing forward the most boring message; the price, the price and the price. I mean Elisa or Sonera ain't done shit to make me feel good, but these guys have.

Swedish Disco Love. From Me 2 You.

New weeks, new tricks. And I'm not meaning those freestyle bike tricks Kanye is probably right now working hard to perfect on his Vigorelli track bike for his next video.

Anyhow, for some strange reason I'm really feeling THIS SONG right now: 
The Sounds - Tony the Beat (Rex the Dog Remix)

Of course it's good only because Rex The Dog remixed the original boring-ish power pop fake punk track into nice bouncy electro disco version.

And yeah, the singer chick sounds pretty hot too, in that special nasty way, with the heavy swedish accent, dirty voice, provocative lyrics and all. 

'Uuuuh baby, ja, ja, hej vill du festa med mig, vad, eller hur?'. She sounds like the type of chick you'd like to meet, yet be scared of meeting, in trendy bar at Södermalm when you're already drunk on mellan öl and in high on party mood. Don't even try to deny you wouldn't...

(FYI: Maybe I need to point out here that the singer is actually -unfortunately- neither of the girls on the cover of The Sounds' album  above. In fact, I remember reading somewhere that those lovely ladies on the cover shot are some fab real-life NYC scenesters...)

Kanye West Spotted in Trackstar NYC Buying a Fixed Gear Bike!

RED ALERT!  This Just in: Teh Fixed Gear Trend has reached the tipping point!

The title of the post pretty much says it all: 

Look here: "fyi, i was at trackstar today and kanye west came in and bought a track bike. which track bike u say? u want to know so u can either go out and buy it or giving up track riding all together?"

And a lil' bit more here. 

"So, my sources have told me that not only did Kanye West roll through Trackstar yesterday, but he is getting a "blinged" out Vigorelli and the guys from DQM taught him how to skid."

And for Trackstar NYC, click here. 

Oh, here's another fine photo of Kanye flying oh so high on his limited edition Vigorelli track bike... 

RIP Ike Turner - Black Man's Soul

Here we go again. More bad news. 

Our blog is starting to look like a funeral service for yesterday's stars but hey, you gotta respect these artists and entertainers, right?

Ike Turner, the official bad man died yesterday in his home in San Diego at the age of 76. R.I.P. 

What can you say about him? Apparently he was not nice dude in his personal life, had his problems with substances etc. but he certainly got the funk, and looked funky fly, always. 

Don't know about his guitar playing but his deep baritone voice kicks ass on some of those old recordings and some of his solo stuff after parting ways with Tina is pretty damn hot too. Ike and his band Kings of Rhythm and their 'Funky Mule' is a classic super breakbeat sampled countless times by hip hop producers and the 'Black Man's Soul' album is a Classic with capital C. So do yourself a favor, click the link, download the album and remember Ike. 

EDIT!

Today I just read the according to the coroners' report, Ike actually died of a cocaine overdose. Nuff said. 

Helsinki Vice corrupted

The Ministry of Interior has finished its report into the conduct of Helsinki narcotics police. The Ministry suspects narcotics police of wrongdoing in the course of their investigations. They have found 7 people who may have turned a blind eye to the crimes of their informants in order to get information from them. Even the captain of the narc-unit is one of the suspects.

If this is the case, it's typical behauvior of cops that we see on tv. Too bad that the finnish juridical system doesn't approve this kind of actions here, this aint NYC.

But there might be more to it... You know what happens when you deal with drug lords, we've all seen Miami Vice: easy money attracts weak minds. Maybe there are some cops buying speed boats on a basic cop's salary.

What makes me lose faith in the great police force is that after this was announceced two-thirds of Helsinki's narcotics investigators called in sick at the end of the week in what is believed to be a protest action.

So, when the going gets tough, the tough stay home and whine. Is this how the law enforcement institution likes to see itself?

Postcards from Russia.

After all the sad news it's maybe time to check out something funnier and more entertaining.
(Even if some of this is actually quite sad if you really think about it.)

Russia and all the countries that used to be known as the Soviet Union were and are still quite mystery to many people who have never visited any of them. Those strange vodka-drinking and melancholy people with their balalaikas and caviar and uniforms and pickled vegetables are somehow very exotic even today to us born on the other side of the Iron Curtain.

So, as a picture speaks more than thousand words, maybe a bunch of postcard-like photos from contemporary Russia will help us understand better?

Now, click this...

R.I.P. Pimp C - an Underground King is down

it's really sad to see that the Kriton Music blog is starting to look like your newspaper obituary pages.
But this one we simply cannot let pass without noticing.

Chad Butler a.k.a the legendary Pimp C from UGK has been found dead. Read the newspiece from memphisrap.com for more info. The peeps at Kriton HQ just want to remind you that Pimp C was one of a kind - a great rapper, excellent and original sounding producer plus also a very good singer (a side of him that all of his tracks always didn't show).

First "Free Pimp C" was THE international hiphop campaign, now we're just waiting for the "R.I.P. Pimp C" t-shirts to hit the streets.

And here's the news bit quoted from memphisrap.com:

"According to serveral reports Pimp C of the legendary Houston-based rap group UGK was found dead in his Hollywood hotel room earlier this morning. Pimp C, born Chad Butler, 33, who would have turned 34 this coming December 29, was found in his bed at the Sunset Strip's Mondrian Hotel after Los Angeles County Fire Department responded to a 911 call.

Currently there is not other information regarding his death except that UGK's publicist at Jive Records confirmed Pimp C's death to Billboard.com and said a statement will be issued soon.

This comes just three days after Pimp C performed with Too $hort at the House of Blues in Los Angeles.

Rumors are already spreading that the cause of the rapper's death was an overdose. "

Another one bites the dust

This blog has been focusing on body counting these last few days. The latest one to go was Evel Knievel, the motorcycling stuntman and daredevil legend. I personally remember picking up his name from some old rap song and I thought it was a cool name even before I knew what he did for living. He had some beef with Kanye West last years, but he made peace with Mr. West just before hispassing away. The beef had to do with Kanye's video:

"Knievel had sued Kanye West and Roc-A-Fella Records in Dec. 2006 after West released a video for “Touch The Sky.” In the video, West assumed the name "Evel Kanyevel" and donned several of Knievel’s staple looks, including a unique “WK” belt buckle, according to thesmokinggun.com"

Watch the vid to see Evel in action.

No more Cum On Feel The Noize! Kevin DuBrow R.I.P.

So maybe you read this sad news already but  yeah, one more 1980s L.A. Glam rocker is no more.  Quiet Riot's vocalist Kevin DuBrow was found dead yesterday in his home in Las Vegas. He was 52. 

What can I say? I used to be fan when I first started listening to metal music back in mid 1980s, he had a super cool voice. One of the first riffs I learned to play on electric guitar was Quiet Riot's 'Metal Health (Band Your Head)'. It was that easy, yet cool too. 

Click this for another and much better clip of Quiet Riot at their prime. 

I guess the real C.S.I. Las Vegas dudes get to do the autopsy and find out about the why and the what. 

Don't localize, plz

One of those little things that don't work is when online services get localized. This time it's MySpace. I mean, a cool service, still needed in the music community but now this. So when you're from Finland, you get the whole user interface in finnish. Which is cool, if all the content on the page is in the same language, but when it's not, it doesn't work. Sorry.

And think about the swedish talking minority here - it's a bilingual country, so all those swedish talking guys behind a finnish IP-address are now confused and reaching for their dictionaries. What does "ystävää" mean? Vad är det här, jag förstår inte, Staffan!!! Hjälp!

Check out. Kriton High Space

Digital Dan, the coolest guy ever

Last week I attended SIME-conference in Stocholm and one of the speakers was Dan Dubno, AKA Digital Dan . I didn't know of this guy, he's a former CBS News reporter who specialized in new gagdets and techie-stuff. He no longer works for CBS, but you can view some clips of Gizmorama here.

Anyways, this guy is the coolest dude ever. First of all he announced that his favourite hobby is blowing up things (!) and that he once set a lake on fire. And he then showed his t-shirt, that had a build in applause-o-meter that showed the audience reactions in classic VU-meter style. On the front of his t-shirt!!! How interactive and cool ist that??!!!! And among many things he introduced

- talking pill boxes
- IR binoculars
- 3d printers
- plastic forks that dissapear after you use them
- interactive newspapers / tablets (like from the movie Minority Report)

This guy is the gizmo-god. I pay muchos respect to him.

Steal This Garment.

While browsing the Turntable Lab's weekly spam email I just happened to notice that FUCT has reissued some of their classic t-shirt designs. Well, while this kind of nostalgia is of course totally lame, I simply cannot but to dig it. After all, I'm already stuck fashion-wise in the 1990s of my youth anyway.

Back in the mid-1990s and during the huge skatewear boom FUCT somehow managed to stand apart and keep a bit subversive, as opposed to every other brand. They had cool designs which, at least of them, you didn't really feel like wearing in the company of your aunties and grandparents. They were clever, and not banally tasteless and stupid like all the shitty brands that copied them later, Pornstar being probably the worst example.

I still have warm feelings for my good old "Kill People. Not Animals." -tee. 

Many (even young) people took that one surprisingly seriously at the time: 

"Are you some kind of animal rights activist, or something?" 

Suckers. It worked. 

Respect. Which is easy to say as I now can afford to pay 38 USD for a t-shirt, if I want to. But do they still have that classic "STEAL THIS GARMENT" printed in the back of the label? 

I hope they do.

I'd Rather Jack... Well Not Really

I'd rather Fleetwood Mac. Than Jack, just so you know.

And actually I did. Alhtough "Rhiannon" is by far one of my favorite Mac-tunes, i still did a remix of it. Well actually it's a completely new track that just samples Rhiannon's divine guitar riff. Anthemic spacey shit, with a slight italo vibe. Produced by Alppila of Kriton fame.

So now "Will You Ever Win" (the title is taken from the closed caption bit in FM's original Rhiannon single release... so as a single it was called "Rhiannon (Will You Ever Win)") is doing damage in the Kriton MySpace player. And if you dont tell anone, you just might be able to download it from here.

Greg On A Schwinn.

Watch out for this mean dudester!

So friggin' beautiful back then, wasn't it?

We've discussed here of some of the bands that we Kriton boys have played in. There have been quite a few different bands from Sideffect's melodic punk to Chunking Dwee & Twat Juice Dwindler's funk rock to emorock of Genius Breed and Duplo's garage rock to Down My Throat's hardcore metal to Mighty Mullet's 70's/80's heavyrock covers to name a few. But what we all share is the past in the band Belmondo. Yepp, and now it's on Youtube, check out these vids: