Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I'm the biggest boss that you've seen thus far



I'm finally convinced that Rick AKA Ricky Ross is the biggest boss that I've seen thus far. After he took his shirt off during his set at Nosturi last sunday, there was no question who was da bo$$ of the hip hop game 2008. I mean the dreadlocked sidekick was all pumped up, tattooed and cool in every aspect, but Rick put him deep into shadow, both in looks and style.

The whole set was pretty daymn good, from my new favourite "Speeding" to the obvious hustling anthem "Hustlin" (!). And to top it all he also performed "Cross that line" that is by far the best cheesy anthem there is. Not that many rappers actually sound that big on stage.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Top Billin Dudes taking Canada by Force



Check out our doods Top Billin making s**t happen in Canada, on tour with M.I.A. You know the deal... this is very impressive stuff! BTW new Top Billin/New Judas split 12" out now AND the brand new Top Billin Ep "Sexy Time" out SOON. Suomi nousuun, perkele!

Monday, June 02, 2008

All The Girls Standing In Line...



Like Jzzi pointed out earlier today, the first good song from N.E.R.D. in a long time. I especially luuh the way this song starts - str8 2 bizniz, not beating around the bush.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Pork And Beans



Weezer showing of their knowledge of the Web 2.0 Viral phenomenon. You can spot quite a few "viral videos" within this "viral video". Talk about intertextuality!

Friday, May 16, 2008

More Black People In Very Tight Jeans



Our posts here and here about black dudes in tight jeans have stirred up some debate, which is always very welcome here. For example, Anton pointed us to the magnificent video above, it pretty much says everything necessary about this every sensitive issue. 

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Norlan "El Misionario" in da Sauna Caliente



In the header box above we promised we would bring you some vibes from the Helsinki underground, right?

Well, here's the real deal right now. Norlan AKA El Misinario, who's originally from Cuba but a long-time Helsinki resident, lets us sample the flavor of the reaggaeton from Helsinki, combined the the Finnish sauna.

Muy Caliente, si!

Monday, May 12, 2008

You'll find it in da club


I love Santogold and I respect Fitty. I also have a nasty habbit of making dumbass blends while I have some extra time. And a few nights ago I had a too much time on my hands, so here's the outcome. Pure, idiotic, simple and designed to make the club go crazy after 3 AM. Especially if the club's filled with beer bong-loving college studs / martini sipping cheerleaders. Love it or hate it here folks, it's fresh from the bakery:

HennyMan: You'll Find It In Da Club.mp

Monday, May 05, 2008

Greetings from Rev. Bill Huffman


As we told last week, we've been approached with increasingly annoying and/or hilarious contact attempts here at the Kriton HQ. 

Here's another one which appeared in our inbox this morning:

"Hello.I start with much Greetings to you and your whole company.Please accept my apology if i have reached a wrong contact, my name is rev.  bill huffman.I will like to know if you have
flyer can you get me size
8 1/2" by 11"  '' in full copies Black Ink onYellow Paper i  need  total cost of 100,000 pieces of the flyers  l want you to write of the flyer (John 3:16:For God So Loved The World That He Gave His Begotten Son,Whosoever Believes In Him,Should Not Perish,But Have Everlasting Life). and also i need this flyers to be printed double sided and also I want you to go ahead and quote me the total pick up prices plus tax without shipping and also Advise me the method of of payment you accept so that we can proceed with this order, hope to hear from you as soon as possible.
best regards
 
rev. bill huffman
"

You can spam Bill back all you want on this email:

bill_huffman20@yahoo.com

bill_huffman20@yahoo.com
bill_huffman20@yahoo.com
bill_huffman20@yahoo.com
bill_huffman20@yahoo.com

Now, what's more interesting about Rev. Bill than his stupid flyer offer is the fact that he indeed seems to be the very same man, who has had an important role in trying to bring out to light information about UFOs and secret government documents about them in 1940s:

"The First Roswell by Ryan Wood of www.majesticdocuments.com tells of an interview with Charlette Mann and references two signed affidavits that support Ms. Mann's recollections about a UFO crash in rural SEMO (southeast Missouri). Based on Ms. Mann's letter to UFO researcher Leonard Stringfield (link to copy of letter), the abstract indicates Ms. Mann's grandfather -- Reverend William Huffman -- was a Cape Girardeau Baptist minister. On a spring Cape Girardeau evening in 1941, the Reverend received a call for assistance. Upon arrival to the crash site outside of Cape Girardeau, the Reverend found something extraordinary happened. Reverend Huffman indicated the local military personnel on site swore all to secrecy because the object was of unknown origin. It was, according to the respected Baptist Reverend, a downed space ship -- an alleged UFO. Some researchers speculate Chicago received the UFO wreckage and Manhattan Project scientists, like Einstein, worked on backward engineering of the craft. The abstract suggests the UFO retrieval personnel would have been the 309 of the Sikeston Missouri Institute of Aeronautics . A time and place consistant with genealogical research."

So the actual story goes like this:

"East Texans Shares "Family Secret" Of UFO Sighting

2-25-08
"I was not a big UFO person, didn't know much about it other than my own experience." Sitting in her Tyler, Texas home, Charlotte man tells us about her experience, which she calls the "family secret," many of the details discovered on her grandparents deathbeds.

It was April, 1941 in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Around 9:30 p.m., Charlotte's grandfather,
Reverend William Huffman, got a call about a plane crash and was asked to help. "When they got out there, it wasn't a plane crash at all. It was a saucer, was how he described it," says Charlotte.

According to the story, 3 alien bodies lie on the ground next to the spaceship; two already dead. "However, granddad said the third one when he got to him, he was breathing very shallow and so he did pray with him. He did expire as he was on his knees praying for him. He then went to the other two and prayed over them."

Charlotte's grandfather then took a closer look at the spaceship. "What he was most impressed with was in the inside there were writings, but he did not recognize it. He said it looked similar to hieroglyphics. The Egyptian hieroglyphics," explains Charlotte.

Quickly, the scene was covered with military personnel and Reverend Huffman was sworn to secrecy. Charlotte says, "He was told, 'This did not happen. You did not see this. This is enormous national security. You're not to ever speak of it again.'"

But the enormity of what he had witnessed was too much for a man. The shock on his face told what his words, at first, did not. Then after gaining their promise, he shared with his family what had happened. "Granddad was a quiet man to begin with but grandmother said the look on his face was different," says Charlotte.

A few weeks after the UFO crash,
Reverend Huffman was given a picture taken that night by a local photographer. "He felt like someone else besides himself should have a copy and granddad was the only one he trusted. So he gave him a copy of the picture. So I had seen that picture all growing up." Charlotte goes on to say, "You couldn't see those big eyes and not be affected. It wasn't anything I had ever seen."

That picture went missing years ago after her grandfather loaned it to a friend, who never returned it. But seeing that picture and knowing the integrity of her grandfather, Charlotte believes the story is true. But, she never had any proof until a few years ago while doing research for a documentary on the crash.

"We got validation by going to the archives in Washington D.C. And to see a top secret declassified document that stated that there was in fact a crash retrieval in 1941 in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, for me, I have not forgotten holding that paper in my hand and realizing that my families story was real, was solid, and for me was just an answer to a long time question.
"

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Pimpin' like my daddy


For all you non-finnish readers, let me tell you something: the summer's really early this year in here (okay, now i might've jinxed it and tomorrow it probably snows...). It's sunny and almost 20 degrees on the celsius scale. That calls for some sort of a celebration, and i'm not talking bout Mayday (Vappu) tomorrow. No way, Jorge, that shit is for beginners. The hardcore partying starts only after Mayday.

If you survive until saturday (May 3rd) and you're in Helsinki, be sure to come over to the club Big Pimpin at We Got Beef. Kriton's very own Alppila aka Fiil Inc aka myself spins rap/soul/rnb/aor/electronic/other with resident deejay Henrikki (remember this mix?). Who knows, i might even put on a Kriton remix or two.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

2.5 grand don't come for free


The funniest email EVER popped into the Kriton mailbox today. Check this out!

****************

Hello,

We acquired the domain Kriton.com recently. It is now available at
the price of EUR 2500.

If you are interested in it, please let us know before 6:00 pm,
Friday, Apr 18, 2008 CET. After that, this domain may not be available
anymore.

About the transition:
The transition of domain and payment can be finished through a trusted
third-party escrow service like sedo.com, afternic.com, etc, so you
don't have to worry about the trust problems. If you don't get the
domain, we will not get paid.

NOTE: If the name is bought by other company or person, it may never
be available again.


Best regards,
Xxx Xxxxx

****************
Are you fuckin serious????!!!!
Why would we pay 2.5 grand for a fuckin domain???
What the hell do you think we are, the Roc-A-Fella Billionaires???!!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Death, sex and religion respectively


Last year we reported of (a bit too) many deaths of rock/rapstars. Like Pimp C for instance. It's amazing that Pimp C was as a pretty unknown artist to the great public, but at the same time his passing away was something that many people wanted seek information on. It just got my hands on a statistic that revealed the top search terms of Google on December 4th 2007. And the list is:

1. pimp c
2. lafave
3. pimp c found dead
4. ugk
5. debra lafave
6. eat pray love
7. hannukah prayers
8. lafave arrested again
9. chad butler
10. the family international

But more interestingly this once again reveals what interests people:

- death (pimp's death) 4/10
- sex (debra lafave's a teacher who messed with young boys) 3/10
- religion (guess it was hannukah time for some folks) 3/10

Really. I mean really. I mean REALLY.

(AND.... I have no real point for the picture above, I'm not michael moore yuh know. It just whaty Google showed me for search terms "death sex religion")

Tektonik. Yes, now go ahead and learn it.



How do you know you're getting old and that you're not that hip into the latest trends and cool stuff anymore? It's when you don't know what's the latest dance craze anymore.

Us, the Kriton boys are obviously not that young anymore but thank God our favorite Italian in Helsinki, Giac is keeping it real-er than us by pointing us to this thing here -> TEKTONIK. Grazie! 

This is also very fitting with the fact that our latest musical productions are all straight up dancefloor stuff. 4 to the floor, baby!

So, there was Breakdance, that mad Gabber-dancing, Krump, Chicken Noodle Soup, and now this, TEKTONIK. Obviously you need to be really young and French with a mullet and super-skinny girls jeans in order to do it, mind you.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Wireless Fantasy


Or something like that has now come true. Apple has this new thingie called Time Capsule" which is basically a hard drive thats connected to your mac via wi-fi. So no more cords and boxes around the room, just stick this under your bed or in the closet and with Time Machine you have automatic back up all the time. A simple thing, but something I've been waiting for a couple of years. Yeah, you could have built such a system by yourself, but once again Apple makes it easy. And for the price... It ain't cheap, but then again not too expensive in my taste either. >

Critically massive in SF


I'll be spending two weeks at the end of this month in San Francisco (yeah, not "Frisco" as you should know). I'm quite hyped about the trip because it's the spot where mountain biking was born (Marin County big up), and the bay area has always been interesting musically from the dreadful hippie times to the trash metal (Death Angel big up) scene, berkeley punkxx (Green Day big up)and modern hyphy movement (E-40 big up) and of course it's the the home town of our cool buddy, Buddy Leezle. And not to forget that Journey was a local group as well, and they also dedicated the song "Lights" to the foggy city.

And I also realized that I'll be there on the last friday of April. You know whut that means? I'll try to attend or at least witness the Critical Mass in the very spot where it all started. Yeah, that means lots of cyclists and cycle-enthusiasists will once again be reclaiming the streets. Well, I'm not sure if that all so positive, because it gets really violent sometimes, like when annoyed car drivers start attacking the cyclists, who strike back with their u-locks and such.But it's for a good cause. Like Jzzi just said before, we're all treehuggers here.

Monday, March 31, 2008

THIS IS A HOLD-UP! NOBODY MOVE, NOBODY GETS HURT!!! And eco-friendly stick-up old man hits...


Whoa, how about this? The old dude above in the pic robbed a kiosk in Arabianranta district in Helsinki yesterday evening on sawed-off shotgun point.

The police have not yet managed to recognize him, let alone catch him. Apparently he scored a couple of hundred Euros and ran away, just like that. 

Like Melle Mel said, 'It's like jungle some times...' and hey, this is pretty close to where I live and where I go taking my sunday walks with my family and riding my bike and so on. There are also a bunch of our friends living in and around the 'hood there. Pretty scary, eh?

Anyhow, if you see or recognize him, give the cops a Holla! on either of these numbers: 09-1895464 or 09-1894002.

I know we've said some nasty things about our Helsinki cops here on our blog before so I feel that we need to make up for that by trying to help them a bit here.

Also, I need to point out that when I go shopping for groceries to feed my hungry family, I rock the exact same type of environmentally conscious canvas shopping bag, instead of a plastic bag. I'm an environmentally conscious type of person after all, just like the robber seems to be. For this reason I give him one point for the eco-factor.

I'm also tempted to give him another style point for the fact that he had an old school sawed-off shotgun, which is IMHO the second most credible gun to be used for criminal activities in the urban jungle, after the legendary Uzi. But since we all are really against any kind of violence and firearms here in the Kriton Hippy Treehugger Camp, he gets no points for that. Sorry, dude.

EDIT: The police have now recognized and caught the robber. According to the news, he hasn't yet admitted that he did, though. Anyhow, the streets are safer around here again.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Kritonic Updates



Ok, it's time get back 2 the basics. At Kriton Music we spend our time blogging about bicycle parts and all sorts of other weirdness. And sometimes forget to post the most obvious stuff in here - new Kriton tracks of course.

So heres a quick update - two new tracks form the Kriton factory!

The new Kriton High School Banger "Do The Damn Thang" is all about the techno and "Ghetto Feet" is yours truly taking a dip into the Juke pool with Dude N Nem's massive hit. Enjoy these babies!

Do The Damn Thang (320 kbs, zshare link)

Ghetto Feet (320 kbs, zshare link)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

New Boris Video & Gig In Helsinki !!!



Above is the lovely Orange video of my personal favorite Japanese band Boris' new single "Statement". It rocks. The new album, 'Smile', should be out soon on mighty the Southern Lord label too.

But what's even better, there's a rumor currently going around that they might play in Tavastia Club here in Helsinki 2nd of May. How cool would that be?

UPDATE! 
UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!

The rumor was true, it's happening, May 2nd at Tavastia, tickets are for sale now for meagre 12€ each. Go get 'em.

Konichiwa, bitches!!!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

More BMXes & Skinny Jeans



Enjoy the video above. It's straight continuation on the my previous post here.

More BMX'es, skinny jeans, crazy skillz, excellent music and super smooth cinematography.
In Paris.

All you need really. No mag wheels this time, though.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

She wants to lead the Glamorous Life



We havent posted so many dj-mixes here in the Kriton Blog so far, unless they've been our own or something like that. But now is a good chance to change that. Since a good buddy of ours, DJ Henrikki made a new hot mix (and he doesn't make new tapes just every day) - The Glamorous Life.

Now Henrikki, responible for the one of the nicest rap clubs in Helsinki, Big Pimpin, is best known for his skills in hiphop stuff. But this time he's decided to show how versatile he can be, by mixing together a whole lot of 80's synth classics, house, electronic and other things that you wouldnt expect (see the track list above!). And the title is obviously taken from the immortal 80's gem by Sheila E.

Dowload the mix here (zshare)

And oh yeah, the covers of course made by yours truly

Friday, February 29, 2008

The Recreational Drug of Choice in Helsinki: Khat ???


If you look at the title box of of this blog up above, we promise to bring you news from the HKI underground. Well, here's something you should be hip to right about now:

Apparently Khat, the mildly amphetamite-like stimulant, has finally landed up here up in the north, as introduced and used mainly by part of the local Somali-community. The proof of this is the fact even the Finnish cops and the customs officers are now hip to this new threat to our society and, quite surprisingly they've even actually managed to catch some smugglers. 

Someone, who was busted, got 3 years and 6 months jail-time after admitting having organized smuggling of some 4200 kgs (or probably way more than that) into Finland ... from UK, where Khat is not even illegal, actually. 

Well done boys, you've earned your meagre salaries. Now go home and drink that friday bottle of vodka and feel good about yourself, you've succeeded in getting some of them DEADLY DRUGZ of the streets. World is better and safer place again. 

No, but seriously now: 
if the common knowledge is that the Police and Customs (and they admit this themselves!) manage to confiscate approximately only less that 10% of all illegal drugs smuggled into the country, what does this mean? 

Then last year at very least 40 000 kilos of Khat was consumed in Finland. Hmmmm....